Log started: 6/23/02 11:55:05 PM $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ IC News $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 9/23 Posted Author New Movie Preview Sun Jun 23 News Report ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Coming soon, to a theatre near you... "Come on guys, let's pick it up. We're late." One man... *passengers making a racket* "Hey guys, can you keep it down back there?" One minivan... *more passenger racket* One million commuters... *carhorn* "Do not pass me on the right! Don't do it!" And only one way to get to work. *crashes, tyres screeching, screams* "Outta my way people! I'm late for work!" Josh Mistiseen *explosion* is Schmitty, *explosion* in... *warzone sfx, echoy voice effects* HEAVY TRAFFIC. "Traffic is hell." Rush Hour... Has just begun. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Robot Master $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 12/38 Posted Author Friday Sun Jun 23 Blizzard Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Greetings, my family... On Friday, the foolish Hunter Chill Snowcat arrived in the Mirror Desert. I quickly expelled him with the Chibifaction Cannon, while tending to his narcissicism. Following this, I spent several days attempting to find my way out of the desert. Following this, I went to Colorado to acquire fun house mirrors for Wily World. Alas, the ski patrol repelled me with their anti-blizzard field..." "Tengu Man and others continued on in my absence, so I suspect a report will be filed by the others... In the meantime, I shall be attempting to escape this blasted canyon into which I was repelled... Blizzard Man, out." WEEEH-ELL, IT'S THE BIG SNOW -Blizzard Man $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/23 Posted Author Re: Open Challenge Wed Jun 19 Spark Mandrill ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Bass. Let's see how many rounds YOU last. Tell me place and time, and I'll take you up on this challenge. " $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/24 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 7 Thu Jun 20 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're now watching T-T-V. T! "Woooooow! The Force Leader had to pull out all the stops to take care of the mercenary Dynamo within the ten round limit. And the result was more than enough to vaporize the mercenary's shield of a weapon and knock him out in the eighth round! A new record, but the kitty rises to --" "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOW DID FOOLISH ANCHORWOMAN ESCAPE PIT OF OBLIVION?" "Err, that's a long story, Mort, but.." "HOW COULD A PATHETIC FLESHBAG LIKE ANCHORWOMAN ESCAPE FROM IMPRESSIVE PIT OF OBLIVION?!" "Look, Mort, I'll tell you after the show, but for now-" "THEN SHOW IS OVER. JACKPOT AT TWO-HUNDRED TEN THOUSAND ZENNY!" ".. uh oh.." Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/25 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 8 Fri Jun 21 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. For some godknown reason. "Err.. we're on? Damn, damn, my hair isn't done, my makeup-" "FOOLISH MORTAL ANCHORWOMAN, WITH HER NEED FOR BEAUTY! MORT COMES WHOLE, BABY! THE MORT IS GREAT!" "..Err.." "FOOLISH MORTAL DUST MAN LASTED BUT THREE ROUNDS. HENCE, FOOLISH ANCHORWOMAN WAS NOT READY FOR SHOW." "How true, Mort, thank you so kindly for telling THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT IT! I don't know how I keep working with you-" "WHAT SHE MEANS TO SAY, IS THAT JACKPOT REACHES TWO-HUNDRED FORTY-NINE THOUSAND ZENNY. SMALL MATCH. SLIM JACKPOT." "-mean you're not nice to me at all! You eat all the jelly donuts -- and don't you dare start about my figure, then you put me in that laughable pit of obli-" "SHOW IS OVER!" Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/26 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 9 Fri Jun 21 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. The other, other, other white meat. "Well Bass is just on a role this morning. Moments after his decimation of Dust Man, he took the field once more to drop Harpoon Hydra in four rounds." She pauses expectantly. Glances around. "The jackpot rises to two-hundred and seventy-five thousand zenny. It sure looks like he's making up for lost time against the mercenary Dynamo." Again, she pauses. "Err.. Oh well. Mort's lovely little Pit of Oblivion was actually the trunk freezer in his van. I mean, come on, I'm an anchorwoman; that doesn't mean I don't know how to push a door open." "WHAT? SILENCE, FOOLISH FLESHBAG!" Mort comes charging onto screen, breathing heavily. His toupee is on the wrong way. "YOU HAVE GIVEN SECRET TO PIT OF OBLIVION! YOU CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE!" The reploid's jaw opens wide, and he moves as if to swallow the anchorwoman. The view cuts to a skunk reaching across to a second powerline. Technical Difficulties. Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/27 Posted Author To Gravity Beetle Fri Jun 21 Quick Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From: Quick Man (sonicboom@BetaRM.com) To: Tartarus Pit Challenge Board (ultros@sheolpiy.com) Subject: Time for a certain "Pun Master' to die. People like you make me sick. Not only do you try to draw me into the famous Mexican Angry Mob, not only do you stop me from moving, not only did you embarrass me by catching me with that lasso or whatever, but you dared try to not pay me for delivering your damn pizza! I think it's time to slice you up; I'm rather hungry for a few puncakes! As soon as possible face me in the Sheol Pit, and I'll slice you, and dice you, and throw your pieces into the trash! No rules, just your death! Challenged: Gravity Beetle Challenger: Quick Man (OOC: Choose a time and place, and I'll have my vengeance! Bwahahahah-*coughcough* Dammit, another dramatic pose ruined!) -This message has been slown down by the Quick Man Normalirator Speechulator(TM).- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/28 Posted Author OOC: Bass Challenge Fri Jun 21 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No new challengers will be accepted until I've cleared the backlog. I'll post when they're once again being accepted. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/29 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 10 Sat Jun 22 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. "Ouch.. I know the Force Leader might not be human, but that has got to hurt." "WHAT FOOLISH SWORD MAN!" "Six rounds, and we're finally getting a healthy jackpot. It's now up to three-hundred and sixteen thousand zenny. Now, Mort, I trust you know not to try and swallow me whole in future, hmm?" "..." "Having a taser placed directly against your spinal structure wasn't very appetizing, was it, Mort?" "..." "Aww, come on, Mort, you're disappointing the audience, the producers might replace you if you don't-" Mort surges out of his chair, attempting to swallow the anchorwoman again. Cue the skunk picture. Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/30 Posted Author Re:to Gravity Beetle Sat Jun 22 Gravity Beetle ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: What do you get when you cross Gravity Beetle with Quick Man? A: Androidful mess. Challenge: ACCEPTED. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/31 Posted Author B-be-um-b-battle of the Ch-ch-chil Sat Jun 22 Chill Penguin ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *A text message*(no stuttering, sorry) Challenger: Chill Penguin Challenged: Chill Snowcat Contest: Who is the most deserving of having the word Chill in his name, through combat! Note: Backing down will show your true cowardice to the world, once and for all! *Message end* $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/32 Posted Author No you don't. Sat Jun 22 Elec Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Challenger: Elec Man Challenged: Chill Penguin I don't think so. Nobody's taking that cat down but _me._ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/33 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 11 Sun Jun 23 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. "WHAT A FOOLISH ROBOT MASTER! WHY DO THEY CONTINUE TO THROW THEIR LIVES AT THEIR OWN LEADER? IT AMUSES THE IMMORTAL MORT GREATLY TO SEE SUCH VIOLENCE! HAHAHAHAHA!" He turns to another camera. "MUCH LIKE FOOLISH ANCHORWOMAN, WHO THOUGHT SHE COULD PREVENT HER CONSUMPTION! HAHAHA! SIX ROUNDS, ELEC MAN LASTED!" The camera view changes. He looks back and forth, before spinning around to face. Follow the red light, Mort. "JACKPOT RISES SLOWLY. THREE-HUNDRED EIGHTY-THREE THOUSAND ZENNY! FOOLISH MORTALS!" Two men in black step into the screen. "Mort, you're under arrest for the --" ".. OH SH-" Cue the Skunk Bass Status Challenge: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/34 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 12 Sun Jun 23 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. "WHAT FOOLISH BURNING TASTY-FLESH MAVERICK! WHAT FOOLISH POLICE, THINKING THEY COULD ARREST MORT FOR MURDER! NO EVIDENCE! NOW POLICE ARE IN SAME SPOT AS BODY OF -- OH RIGHT, THANK YOU LAWYERBOT." There's an audible facepalm off-screen. "TASTY FLAME STAG LASTED SEVEN ROUNDS BEFORE BEING PUT OUT OF MISERY. JACKPOT CLEARS FOUR-HUNDRED AND THREE THOUSAND ZENNY. FORCE LEADER CONTINUES MARATHON INNINGS AT PIT. NOW, WE ARE GOING TO TRIAL NEW ANCHORPERSON TO ASSIST MORT." A chair is wheeled in. A really hairy, hairy reploid sits there. It IS a reploid, right? "FOOLISH THING, THINKING YOU CAN REPLACE FOOLISH ANCHORWOMAN!" "ARRROOORWH!" "WHAT?" "AROOOOWRH!" "WHAT?" "AROOWGGGH!" Mort looks indignant. He surges out of his chair, mouth wide. Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/35 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 13 Sun Jun 23 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. "WHAT FOOLISH CLOSE CALLS! ALPHA WAS PUT DOWN HALFWAY THROUGH TENTH ROUND -- IF SHE HAD SURVIVED BLAST, JACKPOT WOULD BE OVER. DON'T YOU AGREE, NEW ANCHORMAN?" "Well.. If I had to decide.. I would say that... Ye.. No.. No.. Yes.. Maybe... May-" "WHAT? JACKPOT AT FOUR-HUNDRED EIGHTEEN THOUSAND ZENNY. FOOLISH MORTAL CANNOT MAKE UP MIND?" "Well.. If things go bad.. or good.. we simply need to decide.. or not.. which way to go.. or stay." Mort twitches visibly. "WHAT FOOLISH ANCHORMAN!" The mighty mouth of Mort distends. He pauses, however, to cough up a fairly large hairball. Eww. It gives the anchorman one more line, though. "If I don't make it.. or if I do.. tell my wife.. hello." Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 25/36 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 14 Sun Jun 23 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You're watching TTV. "WHAT FOOLISH HEROICS! MAVERICK HUNTER BASTION STUPIDLY GAVE UP CHANCE FOR ALMOST HALF A MILLION ZENNY, INSTEAD CHOOSING TO KNOCK FORCE LEADER UNCONSCIOUS HALFWAY PAST SEVENTH ROUND. MORT NOW TAKES TIME TO LAUGH MIGHTILY AT THIS ERROR IN JUDGMENT!" Mort turns to a new camera. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "HA!" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO FURTHER ZENNY ADDED!" "Achem.." "NO! IT CAN'T BE! IT'S FOOLISH YOU!" Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Synth transmits, "Sounds like the cat is running away - if you boys want to turn him into a pile of slag, I reccomend doing it now." [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Enker transmits, "He is of no concern." [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Guts Man transmits, "Shut up woman. You don't tell us what to do!" [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Synth transmits, "No I don't. I just made a suggestion." [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Tengu Man transmits, "*static*" [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Guts Man transmits, "A stupid one at that. No one cares about a stupid cat!"