Log started: 6/15/02 4:55:05 PM $$$$$$ Battle and Chase $$$$$$ Message: 22/82 Posted Author Lightweight Combat Results Sat Jun 15 Rigel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Spiral Pegasus vs Dynamo (The Merc, not the Man) Spiral wings it to a win! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$ Battle and Chase $$$$$$ Message: 22/83 Posted Author Dodgeball Sat Jun 15 Uranus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Broadcat Ocelot and Savannah Lioness defeat Overdrive Ostrich and Quick Man in a game of catch. Err... Dodgeball. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 26/8 Posted Author Open Challenge Fri Jun 14 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Open Challenge ************** "Do you have testicular fortitude? Do you think you've got what it takes? Then SIGN UP TODAY for a match against one of this great city's founders, the mighty Baaaaaaaaass!" "Last a full ten rounds against the mighty Baaaaaaaaaaaaass and you'll win yourself an impressive three thousand zenny!" "DO NOT DELAY! SIGN UP TODAY!" $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 26/9 Posted Author The Master of the Rings Sat Jun 15 Ring Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Text Only* Challenger: Ring Man Challenged: Ring Redwing Subject: The War of the Rings "To the Repliforcer known as Ring Redwing, I am calling you out. The Tartarus Pit or a place of your choosing it matters not. It is time that it is decided who is the true Lord, or Lady, of the Rings! Time to match your rings against mine, in the end only one of us will have the title of Ring Master. I offer the fight to commence before the end of the Battle and Chase events so that you may feel, safe, coming to the challange. I will see to it that you and any you bring for protection make it to and from the Arena safely. But inside the Arena, you are mine!" End message. OOC: Respond if you want to or don't. I'm fine OOC if you don't want to fight but this is something that ICly he must do! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 26/10 Posted Author Re: Open Challenge Sat Jun 15 Sting Chameleon ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Its is I! The Masked Chameleon!" Realizing for a second that he has not put on his mask, Sting does so. He continues, "And I shall show you the true power of...me!" His stringy arms flex for the camera, one pushing on the inside of the other to make the muscle look bigger. He states, "If your offer still stands, I will take it and the reward as well. It is you, Bass who does not have the prostate to stand up to me! The MASKED CHAMELEON!!!" He stands there, slimey fingers latched to his thin waste laughing. Growling he exclaims, "And when you receive this challenge I will be here." He struggles for a moment with something behind him, "Under...*guff*...this...*wow this is heavy*...rock!" It slams down atop him as he slinks underneath. *A muffled voice from under the rock states, "The Masked Chameleon out!" People don't just drown everyday. Sometimes you need to help them along. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ Tartarus $$$$$$$$$$$$ Message: 26/11 Posted Author Bass Challenge - 1 Sat Jun 15 Bass ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Welcome to TTV. "Earlier today in the Pit, Sting Chameleon of the Mavericks did indeed prove who has the prostate to fight Bass in a rather one-sided affair. Needless to say, the Maverick failed halfway through the fifth round. The prize money has jackpotted to six-thousand zenny." "WHAT A FOOLISH MORTAL!" "I can't agree with you more, Mort. We're quite looking forward to the next would-be challenger; can no one last ten rounds against Bass? There are certainly a few who've signed up." "WHAT FOOLISH MORTALS!" "Hahaha.. Well, let's hope more sign up. I've a feeling this prize money is set to jackpot quite a few times!" "WHAT FOOLISH ZENNY!" "And now onto the weather.." "WHAT FOOLISH WEATHER!" Bass Challenge Status: Open $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ IC News $$$$$$$$$ Message: 9/7 Posted Author UN Warehouse robbery Sat Jun 15 News Report ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ...And now, in other news aside from the Battle and Chase tournaments, last night a gang managed to break into one of the UN warehouses in the Midwest. Apparently, they dressed up as workers of the Mister Meticulous Cleaning Crew and reduced the security guards using dart guns. By the time the UN police corps arrived, the thieves escaped in four different vehicles, leaving as a decoy what it looked like the Maverick General Vile in his well known ride armor, the Goliath. It ended up being a pie-shooting drone that after scaring the police corporals exploded. Not in the way we're used things to explode, though: apparently, they made the drone explode by heating a HUGE amount of whipped cream, filling almost the whole area with, well, whipped cream. According to one of the UN detectives in there, police controls in the city limits were unable to stop the escape vehicles and so, to recover the stolen goods. "This wasn't the work of a common criminal"-a middle aged man is shown talking in front of the camera-"Actually, whoever was the mastermind of this operation is a true professional. We've already discarded the Robot Masters and the Mavericks, but finding the responsible of it won't be easy." Everyone refused to comment how would they clean up all the whipped cream in the area, but one thing is sure, it will take quite a while. And now, the weather... $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Outside> MidwestMidwest Outside> Often confused with the South, the Midwest is the area between the Great Plains and the East Coast. Many of the areas here are a mixture of suburbs, cities, and sleepy towns, acting as a sort of transition area between the Great Plains, the South, and the East. Most of the identity of this area is tied to the Mississippi and Ohio rivers, which once acted as a lifeline to cities nestled along its banks many centuries ago. Filled with a rich diversity, many stories can be found about the adventure and excitement that once thrived along the rivers. Outside> Topsy Turvy [RM] Snake Speeder III [RM] Funky Chicken [M] Rocket Train [MH] Buzzboar [RF] Mi-Cycle [M] Harley Hoverbike [MH] Mystic Hotrod [RM] Wacky Racer [M] Lightmobile [MH] Defiant Lite [C] Red Striker [MH] Autotrack mk II [MH] Car 54 [RF] Car Race Rules Uranus [Admin] [SD] Race Track News Camera #1 [#3859 TM] Floating Stadium Sam's Club Reploid Metal Factory Red Striker [MH] Autotrack mk II [MH] Car 54 [RF] Car Race Rules Uranus [Admin] [SD] Race Track News Camera #1 [#3859 TM] Floating Stadium Sam's Club Reploid Metal Factory Outside> Obvious exits: Outside> Southeast leads to Eastern Seaboard. Outside> East leads to New England. Outside> West leads to Great Plains. Outside> South leads to Appalachian States. Outside> North leads to Central Canada. Outside> Up leads to Sky Above Eastern United States. Outside> [OOC] Rocket Train says, "And the positions command shows us if they're in range?" Outside> Car Race RulesCar Race Rules Outside> No OOC. Pay attention. If I catch someone not paying attention and attacking an invalid target once, you get a warning. Twice and you're out of the race. There are way too many people for me to be policing everyone. Attack limits are the same as crash limits. You must be within one position. That's one -position-, not adjacent. If you're in position 12, you can attack anyone in positions 11, 12, or 13. If there is nobody in position 13, you MAY NOT attack someone in position 14. See previous rule. (Note that position 20 and 1 are considered adjacent for this.) The three heats will each run for 5 laps. A car finishes the race when it reaches the beginning of the sixth. The race will continue running until five people have crossed the finish line. No attacking or crashing on the first round (I'll make a notice when it's okay to attack or crash). If your car is KOed, you're out of the race. No leaving your car. You may either attack or crash in a round. Not both, and not more than one. Outside> Gizmo Glider arrives from the New England. Outside> The Camera turns on. Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Hang on a second... I'm.. still on the race roster. As in me." Outside> [OOC] Uranus says, "No you're not." Outside> Current Race Participants: 1) Topsy Turvy 2) Snake Speeder III 3) Funky Chicken 4) Rocket Train 5) Buzzboar 6) Mi-Cycle 7) Harley Hoverbike 8) Mystic Hotrod 9) Wacky Racer 10) Lightmobile 11) Clownmobile II 12) Defiant Lite 13) Red Striker 14) Autotrack mk II 15) Car 54 Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Yeah, next to Procyon." Outside> Michael Eildath walks out onto the field, dressed in the red and black armor he made famous as the pilot of the Phoenixflame Inferno, gold-medal winner at the first Battle and Chase. That vehicle has gone on to better things, greater things, serving as the new Maverick Hunter weapon, the Inferno tank. Mike now eases a Harley Hoverbike onto the racetrack, the bike looking... well, modified would put it nicely. It's wearing a finely tuned set of vintage Corley Pre-Regulation Destroyer Class Rocket Boosters. Mike is ready, blue scarf flapping in the breeze before he tucks it into his jacket. Outside> A tall tower rises from amidst the stands. At its peak is a large announcer's booth. "Ladies and gentlemen! Children of all ages! Reploids, androids, bioroids, and anyone else! Welcome to the 2215 Battle and Chase Car races!" Fireworks shoot out from the tower and burst in an impressive display. "I'm Burn Baryonyx and I'll by your announcer for this evening's race in lovely Inadianapolis, the former site of the famous Indianapolis 500! Racers! On your marks!" Outside> Mikage Yukiato arrives from the New England. Outside> One more arrives amidst the mass. He parks his car quietly in a corner, unassuming that he'll be in this or not, just here in case it's time. Likes to arrive early. The car sounds well tuned, but not anything to scream blue murder about. It's a smallish car, mostly white with some chrome running down the sides. Appears to be a classic, if not one of the greats of modern technology. Doctor Light is here, standing there as he looks around. Who knew he could even drive? Looks relaxed, of all things a -cigarette- in his hand. What the? Oh, it's candy...still...he looks...oddly relaxed. Like he's done this a hundred times vefore, just..sitting there. Waiting for his time to go. He is apparently led into the starting area by a small group, smiling as he relaxes into the seat and chews on his cigarette, looking really happily calm. Enjoying himself, behind the wheel of a car. Guess he's not totally out of his prime yet. Or experience counts. Outside> A single, massive, spiked wheel rolls up onto the track from the garages, one of the newcomers to B&C, Pillbug, piloting carefully, face grim, a number of wires running from the car and directly into his head. Outside> Almost behind Mike, is Team Clown, dressed in Nascar-ish Driving Clothes. And before the Clown and the Monkey is... An Ice Cream Truck. Almost the same one from the first B&C. Clown and Show climbs into the Truck and starts to drive it to the Starting Line... Outside> Seismic Earthworm is hidden inside his creation, a -train-, with multiple JATO boosters. Oh yeah. Outside> Wacky Racer grins happily at the Wacky Racer. Months and months or research went into this thing of beauty, and hundreds of dollars in old recordings of Dick Dastardly cartoons. He even managed to upholster the seats in real synthskin (not human skin, but close enough). Dozens of fireworks, enough for an entire days' woth of displays at Disneyland, line the back. Glaring at the front is his own stylised face. Mounted at the top on a catapult is his Gravity Well Generator. He jumps in, fishes out the key and powers the monster up His sole mission? YUtter chaos and a Maverick win! Outside> Auto looks around. He has no fancy racing clothes, since he rarely wears clothes at all. He's Auto! He has nothing to hide!...ok, that sounded wrong, but who cares? Anyways, he stands beside the modified Autotrack, checking over minor systems before the race starts. He waves to all he sees, specifically the Hunters. He may be on a vacation for now, but they're still his collegues. Oh well. Once all things are set and done, Auto climbs into the AUtotrack's cab, starts the sucker up, and drives it to the starting area. Time to show everyone what a Light is made of. Outside> Shyster's trained long and hard for this race. Why, he's burned out every "Crazy Cartoon Death Race Revenge II: Special Edition City Racer" arcade machine from San Angeles to Stockholm, and -sometimes-, he even burned 'em out through actual -playing-, too! He knows he's got an advantage over every other driver in this race. He made sure to insert extra tokens before he got into the car! And besides, if he's ever in trouble, he can always switch to third person perspective view for better steering. Yeah. He's got this race securely in his pocket, he does. Adjusting the glossy black leather driving gloves covering his hands, Shyster climbs into his vehicle, adjusting the set of his sunglasses as he moves. The effect might be more intimidating if his 'car' wasn't a modified bright yellow van with tractor tires, and a massive chicken coop replacing its rear cabin. An occupied chicken coop. The Funky Chicken's engine roars to life, producing a satisfyingly throaty rumble. It would be somewhat intimidating, if it weren't for the hysterical chicken squawking filling the air around the car, as the unwilling passengers of Shyster's racer make their protests known. Outside> Puh. Mitsurei's scarf is far superior to the puny humans! The mysterious one only known as 'M3' has a FAR LONGER SCARF! Lookit it's COLORS! TWO DIFFERENT COLORS! He's already on the line. Look at his scarf! His flies MUCH MUCH..worse than Mike's. Grunt. He's -got- to get that fixed. Anyway. He's on his ominous and fast looking cycle, the Mi-Cycle. It's a Kawasaki. Really it is. He's even got the little stops under the wheels. Dude. . o O (All systems ready. Homing missiles, locked.) Wait. He has homing missiles? ...Yes. They're cardboard somewhere underneath the chassis. HEY, HUMOR HIM! Outside> Topsy Turvy sits, idling, a low rumble coming from its powerful engine. Easily seen from the exposed cockpit is the cheerily smirking form of Top Man. Gazing at his car, Topper pats its dashboard "We're gonna win this time, ain't we Topsy? Yeah! Lets kick butt!" he cheers, bouncing up and down in his seat. As Baryonyx speaks, Topper's hand moves to the gearshift, hand ever prepared to jerk the stick into gear at the start of the race. Narrowing his eyes, Top Man's grin becomes a bit more sinister looking, if that's possible with the cheery android, as he surveys his competition. "Lets kick butt..." he murmers. Outside> Snake Speeder III motors out onto the track. Well, perhaps motors doesn't accurately describe it. The long, sleek vehicle seems to be propelled by an unknown force, as the wheels are too tiny to provide any drive. Outside> Hey, look, it's the Batmobile! Wait...no...the Batmobile doesn't have playing cards for fins. Or bunnies armed with knives on the side. And it certainly isn't driven by a Robot Master. Magic Man guides his car to the starting line with the others, then waits there patiently for the signal. Not so patient is the bunny at the weapon controls. "Lets get this going!" Outside> Any Racer X jokes and I'll kill you. Simply materialzing on the race track, Protoman and his Red Striker - a red formula 1 styled car, with the familiar surface of the Protoshield attached to the front, to clear out any competition in his path - make their presence known, as quietly as possible. As the red light and whistle from their arrival dissipates, Protoman spares little more than a moment to scan the field, before smirking slightly. Leaning against the car with his arms crossed, Protoman doesn't even seem to care about the race, which is about to begin in mere seconds. Until, that is, he leaps up over the side, planting his hand on the fuselage of the sleek vehicle as he slips into the cockpit of what is not so much a car but a jet with bigger landing gear. Eyeing Dr. Light and Auto for a moment, Protoman rests his hands on the wheel, grinning. He didn't particularly care about winning or losing... He just wanted to go really fast, and maybe rip some Robot Masters off the road in the process. Outside> The noisy whine-roar of an airplane jet engine joins the cacophony of other racecars as a slate-grey and olive-green car rumbles into position. Seemingly heavily armored, the 2164 Daimler-Ford Roadrunner II has obviously been heavily modified for the driver's tastes. A six-foot, 20 mm tank cannon rides along the hood of this beast, the windows gleaming with a bluish tint. Behind the wheel of this amalgam of a car, the UN tanker scowls under her heavy helmet. Gloves tighten their death-grip on the wheel as Bridgit looks over at her co-pilot. "Einstein, get yer damn head back inside the car right now or so help me I'm going to pull this thing over and throw you out!" The black Labrador retriever whines from under its own flak helmet, but does as commanded. Bridgit grunts, nodding faintly, green eyes cold and sharp behind her racing goggles as the automobilic beast maneuvers itself into its starting position. Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Could have sworn I submitted a desc for my car." Outside> [OOC] Clownmobile II says, "You set it on the car, yourself." Outside> Burn Baryonyx calls out, "Get set!" He pulls out a flare gun and points it skyward, pausing for effect... The flare shoots off into the air and explodes in a shower of sparks. "GOOOOOOO!" Outside> Wacky Racer pounds the accelerator! Shoves the Wacky Racer into first gear! Sprays exaust fumes and screams away! Almost sexual, isn't it, Ballade? Outside> Car 54 is already in position. Anthem's prepped and ready, sitting in her designated spot. Car 54 - Detroit steel, V-8 engine with superchargers, all the works on a former MDPD car that has seen years of service. In the passenger's seat, Sgt. Reed, one of her old partners and usual racing companion. The two look at each other. Each slides on a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Reed leans forward and puts in an old CD into the player. Elvis starts to blare. "I really hate that guy, you know," Anthem comments. Reed smiles. "I know." And then the pedal hits the floor, tires screeching wildly. "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAWWWWW!" Outside> Upon the sounding of the starter pistol, Top Man's hand jerks on the gearshift, flinging the car out of neutral and into 'whoopass.' Slamming his foot down on the gas, Topsy Turvy rockets down the track, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake, while the voice of Top Man does a wonderful doppler effect, "WHEEEEEEeeeee...!" Outside> Clownmobile II zooms off! ...Almost. But it does go off, while happy cheerful Ice Cream starts playing. Yay. Outside> Autotrack mk II screams forward. For a large truck, it's going pretty fast. Not quite as fast as some of the other carts, but fairly fast. Auto screams from the inside of the cab, "WHOOOOO!!!" as the racers plow ahead. Meanwhile, he plays something on his sound system, linked straight into his audio receptors. "GONNA TAKE A RIIIIIDE IIINTOOOO THE DANGER ZONE!!" Outside> Harley Hoverbike lurches into the air, Destroyer-class boosters flaring as Michael hits the accellerator, the bike vaulting up as Michael screams across the starting line. Music pulses, but it's not audible to anyone who isn't wearing Mike's helmet... Danger Zone, by Kenny Loggins. Mike is soon blaring down the track. Outside> As the starter's flare explodes in the sky, Shyster cackles wildly, and floors the accelerator, stomping the pedal down with more force than is strictly nessesary. It takes either an extremely brave, or extremely -reckless- driver to send his car caroming around the road like a pinball on crack. However, Shyster is neither brave nor reckless - he does, however, have exonerating circumstances to explain his behavior. For one thing, he can't really drive. And for another, he probably doesn't have enough intelligence to know that playing bumper cars at a hundred miles an hour (and climbing) is probably not a good thing. The Funky Chicken screeches around a corner, leaving a trail of drifting feathers in its wake. Most of the feathers are charred, smouldering, or outright on -fire-. The Funky Chicken goes swerving...well, vaguely forward. On two wheels. Balancing in a way that completely defies fundimental laws of Physics. As well as fundimental laws of traffic. Outside> Speakers pop up on the Buzzboar as the race starts, the massive singular wheel shrieking as it starts, Rollcage's gigantic foot slamming on the gas, sending the vehicle forward, shift systems hooked to his neural net going to work. The heavy thrum of War playing, and then the trumpet additions as Lowrider blasts on ROlly's sound system. Outside> With a smooth movement of his foot... Well, not really. Protoman stomps on the pedal as the Red Striker responds with a roar of speed, the entire thing tearing forward like a knife through the air, accelerating like the beast it is. Immediately, it's driver is pushed into his seat... Much to his joy. The edges of his face being pulled back by the wind, Protoman speeds forward with his scarf trailing hopelessly behind him. There was no music for him... No, otherwise he'd miss out on the whistling of the wind in his face. This was his break from the fight Outside> Seismic's train chugs away from the starting line, the initial impulse causing the JATO's to ignite. VwerrrrrrrBOOM!!!!! The train squeals and lifts partially off the ground, the massive engine on the back glowing white hot. "Runaway Train!!!" Outside> (Addendum): This was his break from the fight -- The only break he could afford. Outside> As far as Mitsurei's concerned, he's driving the sweetest ride ever over here. Yeah. It even revs up -nicely-. *Vrooom..... VRRROOOOM!!!* He remains calm. Composed. Cool. He shuts off the Nori Nori and puts it in his pocket. Hey, it isn't -his fault- people just happened to be revving up their engines this morning and he grabbed a cool recording of it. Then.. as the ready comes up... This 'M3' man starts... pedalling. Yes, _pedalling_. It's not a Kawasaki... In place, due to the stops, the wheels begin to turn faster and faster, squeeking gears in concert with the revving engiens of his racing compatriots. . o O (Get Ready. Ichi! NI! *SAN!*) And he PULLS a string, releasing the stops! His bicycle hits the ground moving in excess of 200 mph, leaving a streak of rubber half a mile long in it's wake. Here we go! >.< Outside> Light leans his elbow out the window, grasping his steering wheel idly with that hand and puts the cigarette between his lips. He's not playing music, just leans down and shifts into gear, bopping his head a bit to what music he can hear outside. Not a lot going on, he almost looks bored. Surrounded by cars, tanks, trains, and the little Honda CRX takes off like a bat out of hell. With the driver smoking and looking around with a gently bored expression on his face that says 'been there, done that.' Outside> Mystic Hotrod leaps into motion, the mock rocket engine in the back sputter flames prettily while the real engine roars. Bun-bun lets out a howl of delight, leaping about on his little platform behind Magic's head. "Go go go! Gotta meet some /babes/ when they give me my medal!" Magic grunts. "Who's driving here...?" The bunny snorts. "Only because I needed someone to reach the pedals!" The magician sighs. Outside> Wacky Racer plays loud, loud music as it goes, as the others are doing. However, it appears to be the Looney Tunes theme. Er, OK.... Outside> Snake Speeder III accellerates quietly. No racing of the engine here. Deftly dodging around other, slower cars, it begins to rapidly pick up speed. Inside, the driver seems grimly concentrated on the race. He intends to win, if he can. Outside> "Hold onto your butt," Bridgit remarks to Einstein, who whines and cowers into his seat. Slamming her foot down onto the large accelerator pedal, the Defiant Lite lunges forward with a massive roar. She doesn't have a radio. The engine, a completely retooled fighter jet thing, screams joyfully even as the tanker is thrown backwards into her seat from the force of the start. "@*&$!" she exclaims, not quite expecting that sort of pickup. Outside> [OOC] Uranus says, "One pose per round, please." Outside> The racers speed around the track.... Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Sorry, should have tacked it onto my first one. Won't happen again." Outside> [OOC] Uranus says, "Crashes and attacks will be allowed as soon as I make my emit." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Brothers who are in this race... Just concenrate on winning. I will personally make sure you make it to the finals." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Beta CO Metal Man transmits, "Give em slag bros and show em what we got!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Heehee! Wheeeeee! Coo' Clown! Lets whoop up! Wheeee!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Gamma CO Gemini Man transmits, "Oh, you running interference?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Tengu Man transmits, "Go bros go!" Outside> Burn Baryonyx tosses the flare gun aside, "And they're off! Michael Eildath pulls into an early lead, with all the other racers clumped behind him! Can the former champion pull off his previous glory?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man cackles. "You could say that..." Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "So we can attack now?" Outside> Current track positions: 11) Harley Hoverbike (lap 1) 9) Topsy Turvy (lap 1) Buzzboar (lap 1) Mi-Cycle (lap 1) Wacky Racer (lap 1) Defiant Lite (lap 1) 8) Snake Speeder III (lap 1) Rocket Train (lap 1) Mystic Hotrod (lap 1) Lightmobile (lap 1) Red Striker (lap 1) Car 54 (lap 1) 7) Funky Chicken (lap 1) Clownmobile II (lap 1) Autotrack mk II (lap 1) [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Quick Man transmits, "Go *munch* go!" Outside> Harley Hoverbike screams down the track at a speed considered, well, nigh ungodly for a guy on a hovercycle. Michael knows what the hell he's doing, however, and screams down the track, shooting ahead of the rest of the field for an early lead. In his bike, the track changes... Blaze of Glory, by Bon Jovi... or something similar, yet current. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Centaur Man transmits, "Good luck out there. Remember to work together, Teamwork is key!" Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Oh wait, no, nevermind." Outside> [OOC] Rocket Train says, "Do we attack as part of our pose, as per normal combat?" Outside> [OOC] Uranus says, "You pose. Then you attack or crash or whatever." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Teamwork is one part but its also firepower... Are guns are all you think about, working together to crush the enemy is more fun." Outside> [OOC] Snake Speeder III says, "What effect, if any, does attacking have on your speed?" Outside> [OOC] Uranus says, "None." Outside> Wacky Racer rumbles along, the hazy distortion field around it either indicating a blazing heat haze, or that this thing's running on Gravity-power. Its driver idly eyes the gradually filling meter in the top lefthand corner of the dashboard, waiting, waiting... Outside> The Red Striker doesn't rely on acceleration Outside> The Red Striker doesn't rely on acceleration - Oh, no. It depends on it's top speed. His vehicle makes no noise at all -- It runs almost completely silent, with only the squeal of the tires against the track and a slight hum from the engine making audio report of it's screaming chase around the track. Locking on his eyes on Eildath way out in front, Protoman simply smirks. At least he could tolerate him winning... If things looked bad, he could always just break off and do what he always did. Outside> Top Man's foot is slammed flat onto the gas pedal, spurring Topsy Turvy to accelerate rapidly. Unfortunately, the car does not accelerate quite as quickly as he does, so he pulls slowly ahead of many people. Smirking to himself as he goes, Topper moves to the radio and hits a button, causing music to play loudly: ~o You Spin me right round baby right round, like a record baby right round....o/~ Naturally the Irony is almost completely lost on Top Man. Outside> The Defiant Lite roars along rather happily, and after the initial brain-scrambling start, Bridgit seems to have relaxed into a better frame of mind. Einstein cowers in his seat, whining pitifully and giving his owner the 'oh God, why are you doing this to me?' look. "This is GREAT!" she shouts to the refitted car, cackling gleefully as it rumbles along, the cannon bobbing threateningly. Outside> Autotrack mk II screams forward as fast as it can. Unfortunately for the Light-bot, he's kinda picking up the further end of the pack. Oh well. He's trying, anyways. EIther way, he sees someone up in front. Hrm...Snake Man, if the reptilian nature of the car is any indication. Well, time to try and make things tough for the master. On his dash console, he presses a small yellow button. A hatch slides open on the front of the Autotrack's shell. All of a sudden, a yellow and red blur shoots out. If anyone dares to look closely, they'd notice it as...a...rubber chicken. And at it's arc, it seems to be on par to hit Snake's windshield should all things go right. Outside> From the Ice Cream Truck From the 10th pit of Hell, Da Clown peers about. Weird Chicken Boy at the sides... Protoman and Light ahead. He eyes the Candy Red Button. //*No. It will be saved when it has the most effect...*// He merely flips a switch... -- And a Catapult unfolds... before launching a Whoopie Cushion at the first Android's ride... Outside> Autotrack mk II misses Snake Speeder III with its Rubber Chicken Toss attack. Outside> Buzzboar looms behind Top Man's car, Rollcage inside grinning evilly as he flicks his fingers over a number of controls, an oddly shaped... something, protrudes suddenly from the side, electricity crackeling angrily around it, and then arcs off, aiming towards the Topsy Turvey, bright sparks exploding from the main stream of electricity as it streaks for the other. Outside> You miss Red Striker with your Sonic Whoopie Cushion Launcher attack. Outside> Buzzboar misses Topsy Turvy with its Elf attack. Outside> Car 54 continues slamming forward, pedal down to the floor to pour the gas on. Cars in the pack flash by outside, as the old Chevy dodges and weaves, trying to break free of the pack before causing some *REAL* havoc. Outside> Snake Speeder III finds itself near to Blues. The driver snickers to himself as he powers closer, then comes up next to the red craft. The shot by Auto lands where the vehicles was a few seconds ago. Snake turns around in the driver's seat briefly to see who fired at him, then presses a button on the car's dashboard. The fine scales that make up its paint job prove to be real, and detachable... Outside> Snake Speeder III strikes Red Striker with its Scale Shrapnel attack. Outside> Wacky Racer motions ahead of Top Man, and, noticing the crackle of electricity, prepares its own technique. With a look of glee as the meter fills, Gravity Beetle flips a switch, and flames roar from the car's multiple exhausts to lash Top Man's car! Outside> Wacky Racer misses Topsy Turvy with its Massive Engine attack. Outside> While Shyster's car might not be the fastest thing on the road, it has one clear advantage over the other racers. It's the only one with onboard poultry. And as we all know, possession of chickens is a surefire formula for victory. However, at present, he's also near the back of the pack. There's something perversely wrong with this picture. He needs to correct his oversight at once. With unnatural calmness, Shyster brushes a hand over a dash-mounted control panel in his vehicle cabin, throwing a glowing red switch labeled 'AUTOMATED HOMING WEAPON'. Behind his driver's seat, a loud -KA-CLINK- rocks the vehicle, as one of the hatches built into the side of the racer whirrs open. The bay releases its tiny payload. A wide-eyed, extremely panic-stricken...chicken. With a little digital camcorder strapped to it. As well as surplus Fourth of July fireworks. And liberal quantities of plastic explosive. With a muted hiss, the knotted fuses of the fireworks ignite, a plume of multi-coloured smoke bursting forth as the chicken blasts forward, heading towards the cars in front of Shyster. Specifically, the most obvious one, the Chevy swerving crazily around in his sights. Anthem's ride. Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Car 54 with its Potent Poultry Power attack. Outside> Rocket Train bounces wildly as the JATOs make the train virtually weightless, ricketing down the track. A huge missile platform pops out of the top of the train, looking for a nice target to shoot... Oh, there's one... Let's take... THAT ONE! Outside> Rocket Train strikes Topsy Turvy with its Rocket Launcher attack. Outside> Mitsurei -peels- off around the track, beating out cars in its furious streak of speed. Yes, -cars-. Slow cars, but still! CARS! It's amazing just how fast one can go on a bicycle when one is capable of going 90 MPH on -foot-. Uh.. CD player? Every else has music!! Irritating, IRRITATING! And their music sucks, too! >.< He keeps pedalling--with one foot, mind you, completely biih-ing the laws of common physics--as he braces his other against the trick bar. Why? To turn aronud and fish in a little bin behind him. AH! Here we are. He clips his walkman to his belt. Slides on the headphones.. and listens to blaring Korean Rock. Aaah. Much better. He resumes pedalling, full power, while cars begin to engage in mortal combat around him. Wuh oh. [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits, "I believe, Colonel, that you have been insulted." [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits, "I believe, Colonel, that you have been insulted." Outside> Harley Hoverbike continues on his merry way, changing the tracklisting to, oh, It's My Life, by Bon Jovi. He's making good time... and ha good luck. God, something bad's gonna happen to him, he just knows it. [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "Insulted childishly, but insulted nonetheless." [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "Insulted childishly, but insulted nonetheless." Outside> Current track positions: 20) Funky Chicken (lap 1) Autotrack mk II (lap 1) 14) Harley Hoverbike (lap 2) 9) Buzzboar (lap 2) 7) Defiant Lite (lap 2) 6) Rocket Train (lap 2) 5) Topsy Turvy (lap 2) Mi-Cycle (lap 2) Mystic Hotrod (lap 2) Wacky Racer (lap 2) 4) Lightmobile (lap 2) Red Striker (lap 2) 3) Snake Speeder III (lap 2) Clownmobile II (lap 2) 2) Car 54 (lap 2) [Radio: (D) Global] Jared Kintane transmits, "Geesuz. I think I've heard Jazz talk better trash." [Radio: (D) Global] Jared Kintane transmits, "Geesuz. I think I've heard Jazz talk better trash." Outside> Protoman speeds forward, coming right up beside.... The Lightmobile. Turning his head out the window, Protoman sneers at his father, his Buster charging up slightly... And, for a moment, he just looks to his father beside him, before scowling. "Tch." Almost audible between the two vehicles, Protoman pulls his Buster back into the car and accelerates forward, without firing. [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits, "... Where in the name of Grandmother's cheese borscht did you get pointy heads from?" [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits, "... Where in the name of Grandmother's cheese borscht did you get pointy heads from?" [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "Pointy heads? That....makes absolutely no sense at all." [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "Pointy heads? That....makes absolutely no sense at all." Outside> Top Man mutters softly to himself as he speeds about the track, sniffling here and there as he blinks rapidly, occasionally looking over the damage to his precious car. On one of these checks, he eyeballs Gravity Beetle, once more trying to damage his dear friend Topsy, "Oh now you DON'T!" Topper shouts as he moves out of the way of the attack, before pressing a button, launching a small top from the side of his car which spins in the general direction of the Beetle's car. Ticktock, ticktock. Go boom. Outside> Topsy Turvy misses Wacky Racer with its Mini-top Bomb attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits OOCly: "Can you even make cheese borscht?" [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits OOCly: "Can you even make cheese borscht?" [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "He sounds like a Maverick, Hat Boy. I wouldn't expect sense out of them if their lives depended on it." [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "He sounds like a Maverick, Hat Boy. I wouldn't expect sense out of them if their lives depended on it." Outside> The sudden impact of an acidic arrow does nothing at first. What alerts Bridgit to the fact that she just might be in trouble is the plume of smoke that erupts off of her driver's side door. "!@(*$#4419" exclaims the tanker as the acid seeps through. The lights burn out, the wiring destroyed. "Okay, you son of a !@*(&$...," she growls, rummaging around for her sidearm. Snatching up the nickel-plated .44 Magnum, she starts to roll down the window on Einstein's side for a shot, but the dog isn't going to have something that nasty firing in front of his snout. He bumps her arm, making her drop the weapon and drawing a savage curse from her. Even while erupting into vitriolic diatribe about the dog's parentage (which most of it happens to be true), she puts both of her hands back onto the wheel and focuses on driving now. No clear shot for her this time. "Dammit," she rumbles, face thunderous with simmering fury. Outside> Snake Speeder III is still a bit behind most of the other cars, but the driver seems to be enjoying himself anyway. He looks around for his next target, jinking around the track to get into position to fire off some meyhem. Looking in the rear view camera, he spots a likely victim behind him. Swinging over to get in front of Anthem's car, he lines up the nozzle on the car's tail, and gives a hissing cackle as he punches the button... [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "I will thank you to call me by my title." [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "I will thank you to call me by my title." Outside> Snake Speeder III strikes Car 54 with its Tail Flame attack. Outside> Well, inside the Autotrack, Auto coughs, feathers and all that in his face irritatingly. He's so affected by that exploding chicken that he's veering...right toward the attacker himself, Shyster! Hey, don't blame him, it's your fault for trying to throw combustable poultry at him! [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Silence! All of you! You know just as I that they all have pointy heads. And you Colonel! Yes you, have but a small pointy head. It is very tiny. To hide this fact he wears a head. You have no shame what so ever, after all you do wear a skirt." [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Silence! All of you! You know just as I that they all have pointy heads. And you Colonel! Yes you, have but a small pointy head. It is very tiny. To hide this fact he wears a head. You have no shame what so ever, after all you do wear a skirt." Outside> Autotrack mk II crashes forcefully into Funky Chicken ! Outside> The Rocket Train speeds ahead of the Wacky Racer, then sweeps back to attempt to engulf it in the blast from its rocket engines! Outside> Rocket Train strikes Wacky Racer with its Flamethrowers attack. Outside> Buzzboar rockets on, holding his place, holy crappy! But fortunately holding enough of a lead so as to not be attacked from behind, joy [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "geez..." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "geez..." [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "My Colonel, its true that you have no sense of humor. Well, I can live with that. This joker, on the other hand..." [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "My Colonel, its true that you have no sense of humor. Well, I can live with that. This joker, on the other hand..." MAIL: Mailbox purged. [Radio: (D) Global] Job transmits, "Its a Kilt you brain dead fool." [Radio: (D) Global] Crescent Grizzly transmits, "OI! I be tryin' tae watch me /Races/ here!" [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "Ugly hat, pointy head, and a skirt. You certainly are looking for trouble, aren't you?" Outside> Within his cockpit, Shyster frowns, as his racer rattles over the trail of thumbtacks left by Anthem earlier in the lap, tyres hissing in protest. Ooh. That doesn't sound very good. That doesn't sound good at all. The bright yellow Funky Chicken spirals around the track, as its driver attempts to compensate for his shredded tires. And in the meantime, the chickens he's got shoved in the wire coop round the back are squawking loudly. Nothing like hysterical chickens to add to the ambience. The delay's cost him. He's right at the back of the pack. Next to -Auto-. -Auto-, of all people. Who's now sent his car slamming into him. He's not a happy camper. Not at all. The chicken-coop rear of the Funky Chicken shudders faintly from the impact - and an articulated metal arm, crafted from rusty tubular steel, unfolds from the side of the vehicle. It flips open a topside hatch of the coop, extracts a protesting chicken...and places it within -another- newly deployed haphazard construct of badly machined joints extending from the racer. This one doesn't look like an arm, though. It looks like a catapult. Or perhaps a chicken-pult, since no felines are even remotely in sight. A chicken-pult with a very, very large rubber band. Shyster smiles, and points at Auto. "FIRE ONE! TORPEDO AWAY!" *TWWWAAAAANNNGGG!* Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Autotrack mk II with its Sponsored By A. C. M. E. attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Whats yer title Mr. Colonel Li'l Hat? Is it like 'Pat the Bunny?' That th'title of a reallyreally fun book, y'know." Outside> Clownmobile II notes his position and SMILES. First it was Protoman... and now, for the guy who is credited for Protoman. He eyes the button... the nice candy red button and nods. "Clownatron! Transform!" And it folds... slowly to form a Ride Armor... with a spinning Clown Head. See, Clown isn't pretending to be Sweet Tooth... HE IS SWEET TOOTH. "Light's out, LIGHT." He cackles as missiles starts to rain down on Light's car position. [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "..." [Radio: (D) Global] Snake Man transmits, "That'sss not a hat, Top. Hisss head really isss that pointy." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "what kind of insult was that?" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Call it what you will and be delusional, for we all know it is a skirt my small pointy headed friend." Outside> You strike Lightmobile with your Mech Assault attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Crescent Grizzly transmits, "Dey arn't, Mister Colonel Ranger Sir. Dey lookin' fer Pain." [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel says icily, "Call me Colonel. Of course, I wouldn't expect much in the way of respect from certain uncouth androids." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Really? Well that ain't cool... Maybe his dad should make his head, y'know, less pointy'r somethin'" [Radio: (D) Global] Synth just sighs. Outside> Mad cackling erupts from Car 54, as Anthem's ploy with with the nails works. Of course, she promptly drives right into a big flaming mass of, er... flame, from the tail of Snake Man's, er... snake. Yeesh, too many words that're the same here. Cue more swearing. Of course, since Snake has to go *directly* in front of her to set up his shot, Anthem's ready to counter with her own. "Fire K-9!" "Firing K-9!" The hood of the car pops open, revealing.. well, it appears to be a motorized bear trap on a chain. Which, thanks to the large rocket engine attached to it, fires forward to gnaw on the tail of Snake Man's giant snake. [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "OWWW!! This guys chucking chickens at me!! At least the ones I use are rubber!...I can still hear it squawking! ;_;" [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "Ooh. I heard the capital P in pain. Quite scary." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Thats the way to go Clown!... Nice use of artillery." Done. Outside> Car 54 strikes Snake Speeder III with its K-9 Harpoon attack. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Thank you." Outside> The race is beginning to thin out - yet the Mystic Hotrod is still in the clump. The last remaining clump there is...much to Magic's annoyance. The magician mutters under his breath, leaning on the pedal as he comes into the first straightaway again. Bun-bun is still in a violent little world of his own, however...he usually doesn't have access to weapondry like this. Still hollering happy curses and insults to the cars around him, the bunny swings around on his platform, once again picking a target entirely at random as he hits yet another button. No trap doors open in the hotrod this time - instead, a giant hand (presumeably holographic) appears in midair and bats at the Wacky Racer. [Radio: (D) Global] *Flash Man's voice* Gale Sorcerer transmits, "P. Pain. Got it? Hahahaha" Outside> Mystic Hotrod strikes Wacky Racer with its Spectral Hand attack. Outside> The old man in the white car, he's not doing much that's fancy. He's just a good driver in a decent car, nothing fancy, nothing cool. Light is moving along, enjoying himself, near the back of the pack. He looks our at Protoman, nodding softly, and doesn't ease off. He knows that this is work, and not to be ignored. Signals to turn, and shifts smoothly with the racing clutch he installed allowing it to just...click. This is a test of skill, yes, but more. He smiles as missiles rain down around the reinforced hull, driving him aside HARD, but his skill is easily enough to let the tires bite, again...of course, he was airborne for a moment, and backwards on the track again, ended up perfectly set again, smoking. He tips his hat, still leaning happily, and fires off a set of micromissiles in return from his grill. Forward, he holds no grudges. Outside> [OOC] Buzzboar notes people are trying to yank him out the door [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Whee! Blow up Mr. Beardyhead!" [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man has a amused tone, "No, but Light does now. *mad cackle!* [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " You my dear Colonel will soon tremble in fear when you hear my name! Yes I see you trembling. I know it! You fear! FEAR!!! Mwahahahaha!" Outside> "Aha! Here we go! >.<" Mitsurei holds aloft a.. odd little item. It's a Grenade. With a little happy face painted on it. This does not bode well. The mysterious masked man peers a little forward, pedalling one-handed now. . o O (Acquiring target.) You can almost see thei maginary targetting HUD on Mitsurei's field of view. LOOK AT THAT! He's not even wearing a helmet! Biking without a helmet and with high explosives. That's a fine if anyone's ever seen one. Still.. he spots... THE TOPSY TURVY. Call it a hunch.. but.. a giant top?... "Oh yeah. -.- Target locked." FIRE! >_< *KABOOM!* Well.. uh. Some kaboom, maybe? Does throwing a grenade count as a kaboom? SURE IT DOES! When it -hits- someone. That is, if it -does- hit that erratic psycho's invention. Outside> Lightmobile strikes Mystic Hotrod with its Micromissile attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "And what is your name, so that I may laugh at it instead?" [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "Do you never silence yourself, maniac?" [Radio: (D) Global] Seismic Earthworm transmits, "Short answer... no." Outside> Mi-Cycle strikes Topsy Turvy with its Smiling Grenadier attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "It is a monumental task indeed to make your enemies quake in fear at the name 'Gizmo'" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Mr. Colonel? If yer head's so pointy, how come you don't ask yer dad to make it less pointy'r somethin'? Maybe you could ask out dad? He might do it forya. I mean, it can't be good 'cuz you get mad when people talk 'bout it." [Radio: (D) Global] Blade Raven transmits, "Do you morons ever shut up? Some of us are /trying/ to watch the race." [Radio: (D) Global] Cacophony Timberwolf transmits, ".... And people call *me* dense..." [Radio: (D) Global] Gemini Man transmits, "Your radio has an off button." [Radio: (D) Global] Snake Man transmits, "Sssome of usss are IN the rassce." [Radio: (D) Global] Blade Raven transmits, "Bite me, Master." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "I'm INNA race 'n I c'n still talk, stoopie head." [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "He has to get the stick out of his arse first, Toppy." [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " What? You think I will soo fullish to give you my na..hey who are you! SILENCE INFIDEL! You know not who you triffle with!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gemini Man transmits, "That's Snake's job." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Why does he have a stick in his... uh... wait, what's'a 'arse?'" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "driving and talking is not a good combination, my viperine friend" [Radio: (D) Global] Blade Raven transmits, "Fine, bring it on. I Welcome a good fight." [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "The butt." [Radio: (D) Global] Snake Man transmits, "I'll be happy to bite you later." [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "Well, now, 'Gizmo', how can I fear your name if you don't tell me it?" [Radio: (D) Global] Blade Raven transmits, "Gives me something to do." You will now hear messages on channel . [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "...If you mean Light, I'm all for that." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "He's gotta stick in his butt!? That's gotta hurt! Mr. Colonel, you gotta talk to dad. He could fixya up realreal quick!" [Radio: (D) Global] Blizzard Man transmits, "... Obviously someone knows with whom they trifle, Gizmo... And Colonel does have a... err... point..." Outside> Storm Eagle arrives from the Sky Above Eastern United States. Outside> Harley Hoverbike keeps going. Really... there's not much to do when you don't have anyone around you. He waves! Outside> The racers speed around the track.... Outside> Rickshaw Chimp arrives from the New England. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " See I have those that agree with me! You do have but a small pointy head. And now that you know my name you are trembling. SEE!! You are quaking in fear!" Outside> Current track positions: 20) Funky Chicken (lap 1) 19) Buzzboar (lap 2) 16) Defiant Lite (lap 2) 15) Mystic Hotrod (lap 2) 14) Topsy Turvy (lap 2) Wacky Racer (lap 2) 13) Rocket Train (lap 2) Mi-Cycle (lap 2) 12) Red Striker (lap 2) 11) Snake Speeder III (lap 2) Clownmobile II (lap 2) 10) Lightmobile (lap 2) 9) Car 54 (lap 2) 6) Harley Hoverbike (lap 3) 3) Autotrack mk II (lap 2) [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "He's blunt, but he has a point." Outside> Wacky Racer has had enough! This time it's not an attack from the car, or its wildly fizzing rockets, or even Muttley... no, wait, that's just a plushie in the back seat. For this one, Gravity Beetle himself leans out of the driver's seat, brandishing a huge, ribbed, metal ball. It's the Gravty Well! And as he flings it out, it tears a small black hole around it, sucking in The Mystic Hotrod's hand- and then the Defiant Lite! Outside> Burn Baryonyx shields his eyes with a claws hand, "Michael Eildath remains in the lead as he pulls into his third lap... still with nobody around him. Rollcage Pillbug is still pulling second, with Bridgit Cascio third." Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "My mistake! Sorry!" Outside> Top Man continues driving, naturally, and yells loudly as once more someone launches some explosive device to blow chunks off his precious Topsy Turvy. "DANGIT! QUIT HITTIN' ME!" he shouts as he tries to coax some more speed out of his vehicle, racing down the track at breakneck speeds. [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "yeah, sure... what was your name again?" Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer should pay more attention! Outside> Dr. Wily arrives from the New England. Outside> Buzzboar is still out of range of all, rumbling along, doop de doo Outside> Snake Speeder III has its tail gnawed on by the mechanical bear trap. The tail swings wildly as Snake steps on the gas, jerking the car left and right as it speeds up. Uh oh... looks like he's going to smash into something... or someone. Outside> Harley Hoverbike speeds into lap three, Michael gritting his teeth at the field before him. No way he can avoid them now... he's gonna hafta get into the thick of it... and soon. Outside> Autotrack mk II burns forward, now clear of his dead heat with Shyster...but still far away from the rest. "Aww....." Even listening to Kenny Loggins isn't gonna help his mood at the moment. [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel ignores Top Man. "Do not presume to tell me what I am or am not doing, particularly when you shout insults from a safe distance over radio. If you really want me to fear you, you would at least have the courage to find me and insult me to my face." Outside> Wacky Racer can't hit the Defiant Lite, and aims for a new target- the much-beaten Topsy Turvy! Mwahahaha! Outside> It shouldn't be legal to take this much glee from firing a heavy assault weapon. And it probably isn't, either. But Shyster's a Maverick, after all. Civil disobedience is his stock in trade. With a broad ear-to-ear grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame, Shyster curls his gloved fingers firmly around his steering wheel, spinning his vehicle around in a powerslide. He's in last place. He's probably going to lose. He's being lapped. But that's okay, really. It's all good. So long as he has something to shoot at. As the bright yellow van screeches sideways, he slams his thumbs into the activation studs built into his steering column. Atop the Funky Chicken, the rooster-feather like crest mounted on the car's roof splits apart, shattering into a million fragments of bright red plastic - revealing the shape concealed beneath to the world. It's a shape familiar to whoever watched our errant hero take the Gold at the Sharpshooting events. Except much, much, larger. The gleaming, brightly polished, silver ovoid bolted to the roof of the yellow racer bears the legend 'Feather Buster 5000EX - Super Shyster Special II' engraved into its barrel. With a earsplitting WHOOMPH!, the cannon spews forth potent poultry punishment. Above the cannon, a neon blue jagged sound-effect bubble hangs in the air, individual cartoon letters hanging ghost-like in proud declaration of power. With an extra-large exclamation marks, too! And in the meantime, an extremely -shocked- looking live chicken, missing more than a few tailfeathers, bearing down on the nearest car. Rollcage Pillbug's. Out of range, my posterior! Outside> Wacky Racer misses Topsy Turvy with its Gravity Well attack. Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Buzzboar with its Feather Buster Megablast attack. Outside> Current track positions: 20) Funky Chicken (lap 1) 19) Buzzboar (lap 2) 16) Defiant Lite (lap 2) 15) Mystic Hotrod (lap 2) 14) Topsy Turvy (lap 2) Wacky Racer (lap 2) 13) Rocket Train (lap 2) Mi-Cycle (lap 2) 12) Red Striker (lap 2) 11) Snake Speeder III (lap 2) Clownmobile II (lap 2) 10) Lightmobile (lap 2) 9) Car 54 (lap 2) 6) Harley Hoverbike (lap 3) 3) Autotrack mk II (lap 2) Outside> Snake Speeder III tries to ram into Red Striker , without much success. Outside> Suddenly leveling out on his own, Protoman speeds forward, looking through his rear-view mirror to spot Snake Man and Clown Man behind. Turning around, Protoman trains his Proto Buster on Snake Man who begins to move to Crash someone (or something), taking a single charged potshot with with the Buster, trying to knock it off his tail. With that, he speeds on, scarf trailing in the wind. Winning wasn't top priority, oh no. Outside> Red Striker strikes Snake Speeder III with its Proto Buster 2 attack. Outside> Coaster Raptor arrives from the New England. Outside> Car 54 swerves and skids, going around Snake Man's car as she uses her harpoon's grab to slingshot herself around, threading the needle between the snake and the ice cream mech. As she moves around in front of them, she finds herself lined up perfectly with the little car of sweet old Dr. Light. Reaching down, she pulls out her pistol... and puts it away. Competition or not, she can't bring herself to shoot the old man with a 10mm shell. Cry. She's such a wuss. So, instead - VROOM! Outside> Number Man arrives from the New England. Outside> Light may hold no grudges, but Bun-bun certainly does. "&#$@!" The bunny swings his weapons platform around, but the good Doctor is out of range - too far behind. "Slow down!" the mini-lop shouts. "I thought you wanted to win?" asks Magic, who is fairly pleased at having pulled ahead a bit. "...Oh yeah." The bunny growls angrily, but swings his little platform towards a new target - one of the few in range. Bridgit's car is once again the target of the rabbit's violence, as a shower of sparkly pyrotechnics shoot out of the Hotrod at the Defiant Lite. Outside> Mystic Hotrod strikes Defiant Lite with its Prestidigitation attack. Outside> Rocket Train rumbles and a ball of darkness begins to form at the front of the train. Most Masters and a few Mavericks will know this attack quite well. The orb zips out of the train, over and around, then gets in front of the Wacky Train and stops! Outside> Rocket Train misses Wacky Racer with its Crushing Blast attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Very well. Then a meeting should be met. Then you will meet with my creations that will destroy you and kill you to you are dead. TIL YOU ARE DEAD! MWAHAHAHAHA!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Right. I've got my car ready for the next heat" Outside> [OOC] Rocket Train says, "wacky racer. bleh." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "uh, one question, sir?" [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "Well killing till someone is not dead wouldn't be killing then would it? So I think you're on the right track." [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Gizmo....are you like that furry little thing from that one really old movie...er...Moggie...mowgy....MOGWAI!! That's it!!" Outside> [OOC] Buzzboar says, "I gotta jet, people dragging me off. So just assume I'm in the race till someone shoots me to death. Sorry" Outside> Light smiles softly, shaking his head. Looks like this is going to be a hella race, and he's not looking like he's got a shot in blazes at it. Course, that doesn't really mean much, he's here to enjoy and show you don't need a super-powered engine to do well. He looks up ahead, the fireworks are lovely, aren't they? Sees the choice made by Anthem in the rear-view mirror and blushes softly, signaling happily as he moves. He touches the...okay, this is silly. He just took his hands off the wheel and started fishing around in his glove box, holding the wheel with his knee. Pulls out...a dart gun? Wooo....well, his window IS open. Aims, smiles and salutes, and pops one off at the Clownmobile [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "Hmmm, I wouldn't be surprised. Does this mean that he explodes if we expose him to wide spectrum solar radiation?" Outside> Buzzboar removes itself from the race roster. [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel comments dryly, "If you can manage that, I will be most surprised. Until then, your threats are, to put not too fine a point on it, laughable." Outside> Lightmobile misses you with its Dartgun attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " No! Those dreadful little cute and fluffly things. Death to all Cute and fluffy creatures! DEATH!!" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "MOGWAI! GIZMO! I LOVE GREMLINS! That's my favorite movie ever even tho it's got all them scarythings innit. 'Cuz Gizmo always beats 'em and it's all cool 'n Gizmo is cute." Outside> [OOC] Funky Chicken Chickened him into oblivion! [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Gizmo the Mogwai rules!!...not sure about this Gizmo, though." Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "Good for ya, Shyster." Outside> Clownmobile II shifts the vehicle back down to Ice Cream Truck mode. He hrms at his situation... and waves at Snakey as he does so. He notes that Protoman is ahead. He nods at Sideshow. "Unleash the WEAPON." Sideshow eyes Clown, "NO! It will kill everybody! The horror must not be unleashed! Think about the woman and children." "Two words -- Xena and Marrissa." Sideshow ohs, "In that case, DEATH TO ALL!!!" And a figure appears. It's a...Wheelie. An Gay Headmaster Wheelimus Prime toy. He leaps at Protoman! "Lover Find! And he has a nice behind!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " You dare laugh at greatness that far surpasses you?!" [Radio: (D) Global] Cut Man transmits, "*static* Sorry you guys, I switched off for a moment to rest. Did I miss anything?" Outside> You strike Red Striker with your Lethal Toys attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Hey! R'member when Gizmo made'a bow 'n arrow out'a paperclips 'n stuff 'n shot that Gremlin 'n burnded him up? That was cool! Gizmo's neat!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "if the not living of /him/ caused by /you/ happens, there would be no way the living of him to take place after you accomplish the not living of him, and there would also be chances the not living of him not to go as it would be expected" [Radio: (D) Global] Colonel transmits, "I do not. When you prove that you are such, then I will stop laughing." Outside> "*(@&$!" Bridgit shouts as the car's consumed briefly in an industrial (strength) light and magic show, dazzling her eyes and sending Einstein into fits of howling in horror, muzzle singed from where he was poking out his nose. "Okay, bizitch," she growls as she punches one of the four multi-coloured buttons in the middle of the steering wheel. It's red. Red usually means something hot. In this case, it means something very hot - in particular, the twin flamethrowers that erupt from the trunk of the retooled Roadrunner II, blasting gouts of flame backwards at Magic Man. "WEENIE ROAST!" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Oh yeah, when Giz went Rambo-hardcore on that spider gremlin!! Now THAT was cool!" Outside> Defiant Lite strikes Mystic Hotrod with its Flamethrower In The Trunk attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Bah! Your explanations bore me." [Radio: (D) Global] Jared Kintane transmits, "..." [Radio: (D) Global] Snake Man transmits, "Gisszmo. Wasssn't that the name of the furry big pointy eared rat in that old movie?" [Radio: (D) Global] Jared Kintane transmits, "Damnit Clown Man, you've scarred me for life!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "*snicker*" [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man cackles! [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Yeah! 'n He was all cute with the headband 'n he kept it!... Yeahyeah, Snake, but he wasn't'a RAT, he was a MOGWAI." [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "I'm not sure if I want to know what you lot are talking about. I'll go back to melting in oeace." [Radio: (D) Global] Snake Man transmits, "Rat, mogwai. What'sss the differenssce?" [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "Clown, you are very good at what you do - but do you realize how many of the boys I am going to have to recompile if you EVER use that thing in the base?" [Radio: (D) Global] Big Bad Sword Man transmits, "....Sir Clown...you make me fear what little sanity you display." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Rats are icky and mogwais're cute. Duh." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "it actually isn't interesting, believe me Elias" [Radio: (D) Global] Crescent Grizzly transmits, "De Clown has Sanity. ...that was one o' de most terrifying 'tings dis Bear has eva' witnessed." Outside> Rifling around in his bin, the rush of air past his ears, Mitsurei gripes. Didn' blow im to kingdom come. Must be a dud. Yeahrilly. He rifles about in his Covert Weapons Locker (read: A wire basket covered in armor to look cool on the back of his bike) to withdraw... a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL. That's right! O_O A MOLOTOV! FEAR! .... Only it has a smiley face on it too. Mitsurei peers at it.... and stows it back for a moment to remove Nori Nori from his pocket. While continuing to pedal furiously. "Note to self... when bored, paint on paper!! Weapons are not scary with smiley faces on them! End note." *click* *rewind* *Nori Nori, Start!* o/` *Huh, huh* Note to self... when bored, paint-on-paper! *HUH! HO!* o/` "......Perfect! $$$.$$$" He puts the Nori Nori away. Only.. he forgot to throw the Cocktail at someone. Er. Oh dear. [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Hrm...that reminds me...maybe I could make a toy of that thing...hrm..." [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "I promise I won't use it at base. Besides it's busy with another Transformer Toy. Tracks. Don't ask what they are doing." [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Fools! I am not a mogwai! I AM NOT!! I am a marsupial. See I have a pouch!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gemini Man transmits, "We don't need to see your 'pouch.'" [Radio: (D) Global] Metal Man transmits, "Your a machine you idiot." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Put that pouch back where no-one can see it." [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "I never saw any logical reason why they couldn't be fed after midnight. I mean is it the time 12 am or the actual middle of the night, which depending on the season could be anywhere from 10:30 to 1:30. And what kind of animal can't have water, everything on the planet depends on water... the movie was full of holes I tell you!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "liar, you have not a pouch!" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "So? I have a pouch too! A leather one, back home! And I'd rather have the Mogwai to a Maverick." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "you're just pretending to be one, aren't you?" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Gizmo might'a had a pouch. how do I know you ain't Gizmo? Yer just sayin' yer not. 'N you even said yer name was Gizmo. Hey, if yer Gizmo, how c'n you be out in th'day anyway? You'd melt!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "*snicker*" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto emits a soundclip: "BRIGHT LIGHT, BRIGHT LIGHT!" Outside> The racers speed around the track.... [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "*shriek!* GIZMO! GET OUT'A THA SUN!" Outside> Current track positions: 20) Rocket Train (lap 2) Red Striker (lap 2) 19) Clownmobile II (lap 2) 18) Harley Hoverbike (lap 3) 17) Snake Speeder III (lap 2) Lightmobile (lap 2) Car 54 (lap 2) 10) Autotrack mk II (lap 2) 6) Funky Chicken (lap 2) Defiant Lite (lap 3) 4) Mystic Hotrod (lap 3) 3) Topsy Turvy (lap 3) Wacky Racer (lap 3) 1) Mi-Cycle (lap 3) [Radio: (D) Global] Jared Kintane transmits, "And...I'm beginning to find Clown Man less disturbing than this conversation. *click*" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Hey, Clown! Some human says you" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " I hate you all...." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Hey, Clown! Some human says you're losing your edge." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "*snickers again*" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto laughs goodnaturedly. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "WHO?" [Radio: (D) Global] Dirge transmits, "And remember, no midnight snacks!" [Radio: (D) Global] Cacophony Timberwolf giggles uncontrollably Outside> Wacky Racer grins as its gravity field dissipitates the attack. Yes, GRINS. The front of the car begins to smile. OK, that's really disturbing. Pulling the handle on the dashboard again, Gravity switches to "Low-Down Dirty Trick Power"- and a TV is slung at the Topsy Turvy (I'm sorry, it's just that you're such a sucker for jokes, Top!) What's it showing? An old, old, horrible, horrible anime by the name of "Beyblade"! Outside> Wacky Racer strikes Topsy Turvy with its Dirty Trick attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " NO! I AM NOT A CUTE FLUFFY ANIMAL! I AM NO MOGWAI. I am a sugar glider. Yes say it with me. SUGAR Gllliiiiiderrr." Outside> Burn Baryonyx shakes his head, "And Rollcage Pillbug is blasted clear of the track by a barrage of fowl!" Medical reploids carrying fire extinguishers and stretches run up to the crash site. "Huphuphuphup!" "Michael Eildath is still in first, but he's in the middle of a thick pack of bigger cars... can he make it through? Bridgit Cascio takes Pillbug's place in second, with Magic Man third!" Outside> Autotrack mk II is far back in the pack...but luckily, the radio conversation over Global has lifted his spirits some, enough to get him out of the fun and focus on moving up in the pack. THough he likely won't be moving that far. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "THat Jared guy." Outside> Light signals into the turn, sighing happily. Having a good day, watchign this all go down. He's rather enjoying swerving like a LUNATIC through all this,waving as Mike whips by him like a racing god ....looking more and more bored as he does. He actually looks away from the track a bit as someone swerves close enough to cut him off, just idly kicking his car loose into a bootleg turn and around the flames that shoot over Magic Man's car from the Roadrunner. Light tosses his cigarette into the ashtray (it's candy???) and nods, turning on the cruise control and just steering now. He's got the air conditioning on and flips on his wipers. How...techie of him. Flips on the turn signals as he rounds into the next lap, cruising smoothly and touches a small button that lights up his license plate with the word "warning" and a small happyface as he pulls out a nerf gun and aims it to the properly forewarned Snake Speeder III. *bink* [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "Hey! This guys stealing my lines! Godda-*sound of splashing* GYAAAAAAGH! IT BURNS! IIIIITTTT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNSSSSS!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "this... is...way too much... bwahahahahaahha!!!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Flash Man transmits, "That explains the hyperactivity." [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Sugar? Like candy? Can we eat you? *snicker*" [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "Sugar? So your of the 'sickeningly sweet' kind of cute?" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " There is no end to this madness!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "hahahaha....please, stop.... hahahahha!!" Outside> Snake Speeder III finally manages to shake off the bear trap, only to be scored along the side by the plasma blasts. The net result is, due to the damaged tail, Snakey just can't get the car back under control, yet. It spins across the track, coming dangerously close to the human on the motorcycle... [Radio: (D) Global] Big Bad Sword Man transmits, "...you all make me fear for the world's sanity." Outside> Snake Speeder III crashes forcefully into Harley Hoverbike ! Outside> Lightmobile strikes Snake Speeder III with its Nerfball attack. Outside> "Ooookaaaay," Shyster mutters, "no more mister mildly aggressive in a humourously harmless manner that might pass for niceness in a pinch guy." That said, he reaches forward to his car's dashboard, flipping a clear plastic cover over. With excessive force, he mashes his thumb into the now exposed bright red button set into the centre of the dash, and then grips the steering wheel firmly with both hands. A horrible stench of burning rubber fills the air, as wheels of the Funky Chicken spin furiously. The car's tyres protest the abuse, bursting into smoke and flame as the forces of friction take its toll - as a dramatic change seizes hold of the bright yellow vehicle. The entire car rears up on its rear tires, as a pair of stubby spoiler wings snap from its sides in a fluttering hail of loose feathers. A horribly loud, amplified recording of a rooster crowing blasts from the Chicken's external speakers as the wire coop bolted to the car's rear splits into two, revealling a pair of exhaust nozzles between them. Rocket exhaust nozzles. Of course, there is the small problem of the car not actually -having- a gas tank to begin with, but when you're Shyster, you don't sweat the small stuff. With an absolutely -massive- whine of screaming turbines, the engines ignite. Inside the vehicle's cabin, Shyster smiles...and continues to dump fuel from his personal subspace pocket direct into the Chicken's overpowered engines. That UN Space Facility he paid a visit to should be discovering their empty storage tanks right about...-now-. The rear of the Chicken spits an immense tongue of flame, propelling the car forward like the poultry wagon from hell, leaving the smell of hydrocarbon fumes in its wake. And a whole lot of burning rubber chickens, melted birthday cake candles, charred Maverick propaganda pamflets, blackened crayons...it appears while Shyster -did- remember to stick rocket fuel in his subspace pocket, he also neglected to first empty it of everything already inside. Oh...dear. The debris spills out neatly behind the Chicken as it accelerates, flooding the track and any car near it. Pity the Defiant Lite. Outside> Top Man merely keeps driving, eyes on the course, his lips pulled up in a sneer as he tries to keep his car from harm... A futile task. Once more he's smacked, this time by the one that's been trying to hit him all through the race. Barely holding itself together, Topsy Turvy continues rocketing down the track, but her driver has finally gotten sick of it, "Y'like hittin' me!?" he shouts as he calls up a targeting recticle, "TAKE THIS!" he shouts as he fires off a barrage of tops. Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Defiant Lite with its Collateral Cartoon Chaos attack. Outside> Topsy Turvy strikes Wacky Racer with its Quad Tops attack. Outside> Clownmobile II looks behind him. Oh there's Mikey. He wvaes behind at Mikey, but oops! Hit Reverse! "MOMMY!!!" Clown wails as he is about to hit Mikey... Outside> Car 54 zooms around, coming up alongside Dr. Light's car. Well, Dr. Light on one side, and Snake Man on the other. Uh oh. Reaching down again, Anthem pulls out her gun to take a pot-shot at Snake Man.. then a little hovercycle goes ZOOOOOOM! right on past. Anthem curses. "Hey! How dare you lap me! GET BACK HERE AND BE POLITE TO A LADY!" Reed opens his mouth to say something. Anthem glares back. "Shut *UP*! Just shut the @&$^ UP!" And she slams her fist down on a blue button on the console. Blue means electricity. A little tesla coil pops out her her roof, bristling with power. And then it fires off a massive lightning bolt, just as Snake Man collides with the hoverbike. Outside> Car 54 strikes Harley Hoverbike with its Omnitazer Supreme attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "As well you should Bro, as well you should." Outside> I can't see that here. Outside> You are not close enough to attempt to hit that person. Outside> bunny and magician alike screech as their open cockpit is bathed in flames. Understandably, Magic looses a bit of his concentration, and by the time Bun-bun is ready for revenge, the Defiant Lite has pulled out or range. "&*#@!" Once again, it's not happy cursing anymore. Screaming for blood, the bunny swings around to target the only car in range that doesn't belong to one of his "master's" brothers - the Wacky Racer. Yet another button is pressed, and yet another trap door pops open...revealing a bank of missiles. "I wanna see something EXPLODE!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Stoopie head peoples! Why do they keep tryin' ta break Topsy!?" Outside> You crash forcefully into Harley Hoverbike . Outside> Mystic Hotrod strikes Wacky Racer with its Magic Missile attack. Outside> Wacky Racer falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Stop laughing! STOP IT! YOU SHALL NOT LAUGH AT GENIUS!" [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "Bah Sanity is for the wea-ARGH! COFFEE...BURNING LIMBS..." [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "They're not. I certainly hear no genius on this channel." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "*breathes*" [Radio: (D) Global] Gemini Man transmits, "Yeah, we stopped talking." [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing wit... ok so we are laughing at you." Outside> Harley Hoverbike is struck, Michael growling as his bike skids, knocked sideways by Snake Man. Snarling at Snake Man, he flips a switch on the bike, and fires... a Sidewinder missile? No, it's just a flare, but it should still be effective, if it hits. He barely has time to fire before he's bumped again... not his day, right now... no... [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "Sorry. Hit Reverse. *laughs*" Outside> Harley Hoverbike strikes Snake Speeder III with its Sidewinder Flare attack. Outside> Snake Speeder III falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Outside> Rocket Train shimmers slightly, and the Doomtrain face flickers from the train's front to the back. This time the glowing light begins at the front of the train and works its way back, erupting into spiraling lights! Outside> Rocket Train strikes you with its Diamond Beam Cannon for 42 units of damage. [Radio: (D) Global] Dirge transmits, "Let's hope no one gives this guy a bath. Then we'll hear complaints en choral mass." Outside> Protoman continues to speed forward, beginning to make at least some degree of headway as he begins to cross past some other members of the track... Eildath, however, is far behind him. Unfortunately, that's 'behind him' as in 'lapping him'. Speeding forward, Protoman comes side-by-side with Seismic Earthworm, before looking back towards Clown Man behind him... And then, he looks up to the Earthworm, and smirks, before throwing his Buster arm over his shoulder and firing a massive blast back towards him. Outside> Red Striker misses you with its Proto Buster 3 attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " That that counts you out too ha! Ignorant fool you have yet to see my genius but even you will fear. Yes ALL WILL FEAR!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "....hahahaha, this is way too much!!!" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Hey, I may be smart...in a way...but at least I'm not egotistical enough to call myself a genius." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "I fear only you getting your own TV show." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "WHEE! Stupid head bug went down! Yay! Thanks Magic!" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto emits another Gemlin's clip: "MOGWAI!!! *Gizmo hums his little song*" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "heh, heheh, have you ever pondered starting your own TV debates program, old man?" [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "You wouldn't know genius if it came up and smacked ya in the face mogwai boy." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Ow. Who did that?!" Outside> Snake Speeder III removes itself from the race roster. [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Heehee! Gizmo rules!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "Don't thank me - Bun-bun's got the guns." A faint voice can be heard over the wind shouting, "BOOM!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Huh? Wha'happened, Clown?" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " We shall see....oh what we shall see." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Gamma CO Gemini Man transmits, "Hey, Snake, you OK?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Heehee! Okay Magic! Thanks Cutie Bunny head!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Flash Man transmits, "The Worm Train." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "A big ass beam headed for me. It nearly trash my ride! *sobs!*" Outside> Wacky Racer fizzles some more. The fireworks appear to have all burnt out. Yeah, right. With a massive, collossal, eye-burning explosion that looks like all the fireworks displays of a week at Disneyland put togehter, the Wacky Racer EXPLODES! And it doesn't just explode into pieces, it is utterly VAPORISED! Money, time and effort reduced to flecks of burnt dust! Gravity is thrown, scorched and screaming from the explosion, to land in the stands, His Gravity Well bonking him on the head for an added final insult. Looks like the joke was on him this time. Outside> Wacky Racer removes itself from the race roster. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Flash Man transmits, "It was the worm, Clown." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "*sniffle* I know whatcha mean, Clown. Topsy can't take much more either. She's gettin' all beat up." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad CO Sword Man transmits, ".....pardon, Sir Clown?" Outside> Defiant Lite swerves as the pile of junk smashes into the passenger window, sizzling away the armor. Oddly enough, the car is starting to look like hell. Apparently a lot of that armor was second-hand or discarded. The wipers activate fitfully as the dashboard console winks out -- aftereffects of teh acid arrow from earlier. "@(*#&! EINSTEIN!" she curses as the dog howls and then slinks into the tiny back seat, hovering near the massive, roaring engine, cowering under his helmet. "Okay, you chicken-loving freak," she snarls as she picks up a... Super Soaker from her side. The window rolls down with a 'vvvvvt' of noise, and then out goes the water rifle. No pithy comments - her attention is on trying to drive and trying to aim at the same time as she depresses the trigger, firing a thick, sludgy brown stream at Shyster. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man groans quietly, but the distant voice just keeps celebrating the explosion. "Don't /say/ that, Top," the magician hisses. "He'd shoot /you/ if he heard that." Outside> Defiant Lite strikes Funky Chicken with its Caffeinator 3000 attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Cacophony Timberwolf transmits, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! BIG KABOOM! *disturbingly girlish giggling follows*" Outside> Current track positions: 20) Rocket Train (lap 2) Red Striker (lap 2) 19) Clownmobile II (lap 2) 18) Harley Hoverbike (lap 3) 17) Snake Speeder III (lap 2) Lightmobile (lap 2) Car 54 (lap 2) 10) Autotrack mk II (lap 2) 6) Funky Chicken (lap 2) Defiant Lite (lap 3) 4) Mystic Hotrod (lap 3) 3) Topsy Turvy (lap 3) Wacky Racer (lap 3) 1) Mi-Cycle (lap 3) [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Synth transmits, "Sounds like they are coming after you, Magic." Outside> Enter.. the Mitsurei Cocktail. Benignly stored behind Mitsurei's back for safekeeping, it has been nestled in it's home for now. Safe. Cuddly. Fun. It sleeps now. Only.. as Mitsurei -slams- over a rock or sommat, it gets jarred from its fun home in the back of the driver's seat. It.... touched the gears. Gears moving at 200 mph... It's cloth fuse -ignites... and it falls off of the bike... No! NO! MITSI! Waaaiit for mee...! O_O It.. bounces into the way.. of the Rocket Train. Oh dear. This could turn out ugly. Mitsurei? .. Pedalling obliviously to the large explosion behind him, humming in broken Korean. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Don't worry, Maggie. I'll protect you." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Yes, this should be interesting. Just don't use that toy again. FOr the love of god." [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "What? An Explosion? And I missed it? DAMN!" Outside> Mi-Cycle strikes Rocket Train with its Mitsurei Cocktail attack. Outside> The racers speed around the track.... [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "why? you're surrounded by them most of the time..." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "...Oh boy." [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Stoopid head buggy thing got blowed up! Serves 'im right too fer pickin' on Topsy!" Outside> Current track positions: 18) Harley Hoverbike (lap 3) 17) Autotrack mk II (lap 2) 16) Defiant Lite (lap 3) 13) Funky Chicken (lap 2) 12) Topsy Turvy (lap 3) Mystic Hotrod (lap 3) 9) Rocket Train (lap 3) Red Striker (lap 3) 8) Mi-Cycle (lap 3) 5) Lightmobile (lap 3) 4) Car 54 (lap 3) 3) Clownmobile II (lap 3) [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle chirps weakly. [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "Medic..." Outside> Burn Baryonyx pulls out a small flashing red light and balances places it on the desk in front of him, "Snake Man and Gravity Beetle are added to the casualties! Michael Eildath loses some steam as he's bumped about, but remains in first! Bridgit Cascio is still in second, and Magic Man and Top Man are neck and neck in third!" Outside> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Current Systems Status $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Current Endurance: [||||||| ] (28 / 74) Fuel Reserves: [||||||||||||||||| ] (85 / 100) Status: Critical $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "STUPID HEAD BUGGY THING!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gizmo Glider transmits, " Get your own medic! I am watching the races!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gemini Man transmits, "No you aren't. You're sobbing like a little girl." Outside> Shyster's smirking visage is plainly visible through the car's windshield, as he triggers its windshield wipers, clearing away the liquid stream of coffee-flavoured sludge that arrived courtesy of Bridget. As the last of the goop is swept away, he snakes a hand out, grasping hold of an immense lever to the right of his gearshift. His fingers closing in a white-knuckled grip around the lever, Shyster screams an incoherent war cry (that apparently involves the questionable parentage of Cuban tabasco sauce), and -yanks-. A horrible ratcheting of machinery grips hold of the bright yellow racer's chassis, shaking it dangerously as it rattles down the track. With a screeching of bolts and rivets giving way, several of the vehicle's exterior panels blast open, letting two more Feather Buster barrels extend from the van's sides. With the oversized cannon already present on the rolling unWelcome wagon's roof, that makes a total of three poultry-slinging artillery pieces. There's no such thing as -too- much firepower. His eyes narrowed into mere slits, Shyster toggles his racer's external speakers online, and hisses into the microphone pickup built into his dashboard, "You will learn to fear the chicken." And then, every one of the three cannons spins -backwards-, pointing down the track at the Robot Master racers coming up behind him. Lap CAPTAIN POULTRY, will they? *KAWHOOOOOOM!* Chickens -can- fly. Really. Outside> Harley Hoverbike recovers slightly, getting his hawg moving once more as he barrels on down the track, his missile having blown Snake Man to hell... good for him. He changes tracks, moving on to something a bit more hard... perhaps a sampling of Aerosmith. Yes, a little Mama Kin will be nice, he thinks and waves to Auto as he continues on down the track. Outside> Autotrack mk II doesn't do much. He sees Mike pass him by, but, like a good boy, doesn't hurt a fellow Hunter. Instead, he keeps on keepin' on down that lonely road...ok, so it's not that lonely of a road, but he's pretty far back. Outside> Funky Chicken misses Topsy Turvy with its Feather Buster Megablast attack. Outside> Snake Speeder III spins out of control as it rushes towards Mike, even more wildly after it's hit by a barrarge of nerf balls from Light's car. It slams into Eildath's bike, shedding parts and sliding around. After bouncing off the motorcycle, the lasers fired by the human bisect the back of the body, underneath the 'tail' where the power pack is housed. There's the smell of smoke, and suddenly the car literally desintigrates on the track, becoming a hazard to other racers. The driver seems annoyed, but unharmed, and he hustles off the track as the cars whiz by. Outside> Light, consummate guy with a hot little car, isn't doing a hell of a lot this time. He's...ooh, he's turning off his cruise control! Woo! Nah, just needed to downshift for a moment, and it cost him some speed. He gets it back fast, turning like a pro, but it doesn't look like a normal car can handle things against these monsters of speed. Mind you, he's sitting back there and having...no, not having fun. Anyone near him can see rather easily, he looks like racing amongst these speedsters...it's kinda boring. Must need science to wake him up. Outside> Red Striker 's driver looks back into the rear view mirror, as he and the tremendous Seismic Earthworm remain neck and neck... But there were bigger fish to fry. Not /literally/, mind you. Looking towards Mitsurei behind him, Protoman casts another telltale glance towards Seismic Earthworm, as he suddenly pounds on the brakes, sending his vehicle into a spin... Before firing off his most powerful attack. An orb of energy fires from the front of the Red Striker, streaking backwards at Mitsurei as Protoman regains control without losing much speed at all. Talented driver... But is he even in Eildath's class? Outside> Red Striker strikes Mi-Cycle with its Protoblast attack. Outside> Top Man focuses on the race, his sneer giving way to a little smirk as his opponent is destroyed by a combo barrage of Tops and Explosives courtesy of Bun-Bun. "Thanks Cutie Bunny head!" he shouts as he continues on his way, jerking his wheel to one side as he evades the Funky Chicken's attacks. Frowning once more, Top pulls up the targeting recticle again, aiming and launching a top at his attacker. Outside> Defiant Lite continues to roar along the track, the tank-car rattling ominously as flakes of armor peel off it, leaving a trail of debris behind. "Einstein, Einstein damn your hide, get your @*$ back up here," she shouts over her shoulder before returning her attention to the race. "Bloody hell, what're the RPMs on this thing?" Pause. "Why isn't my dash working? DAMNATION!" she shouts in fury, giving it a swift punch before hissing. "*&$#4419~ing piece of *(&#$~!" is the continued exclamation as she shakes her now-sore left hand. Outside> Topsy Turvy strikes Funky Chicken with its Single Top attack. Outside> Clownmobile II goes boom. But it is still drivable... and capable of doing some damage. Case in point -- Clown shouts, "What does everybody want?" "CATTLE!!" "What does everybody need?" "CATTLE!!" "What does everybody want to see Anthem get hit with?" "CATTLE!!" With that the *cattle*pult is loaded up... and is fired with a cow on it. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Got milk, Anthem? If not, you will soon... Outside> You strike Car 54 with your Death From Above attack. Outside> Rocket Train slides about as the beam cuts off, careful not to hit Protoman's car. The missile rack atop the train swivels and elevates. It still wants a peice of Clown Man. Target out of range? The worm scowls, and flips the thing around. Oooh... Mitsurei! FIRE ROCKET! Outside> Rocket Train misses Mi-Cycle with its Rocket Launcher attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "Clown... that... is..." [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, ".....effective....." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "Heh heh... heeheeeheeee..." [Radio: (D) Global] Synth transmits, "Insane." [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "I... can't... stand it. HAHAHAHAHA!" [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "That too." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "Hhahahaaahha." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "Ha Ha Ha. Haahaahaaa..." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "HA HA!" Outside> "BOOM!" Bun-bun celebrates his hit with great enthusiasm, practically dancing around on his weapons platform. "Didja see that? Like a massive fireworks show in five seconds! POW!" The bunny is like a kid in a candy store when it comes to destruction. In fact, he almost forgets that there are more cars to blow up - almost. Fortunately, a burst of feathers flying by towards Top Man's car catches his attention. "Booyah!" The mecha mini-lop grabs his controls and swings the platform around to face the Funky Chicken - a button is pressed, and once again a huge hand appears in midair to swat at the poultry laden vehicle. [Radio: (D) Global] Big Bad Sword Man transmits, "....how in the great blazes did you manage conceal that bovine, Sir Clown?" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "*begins giggling loudly as Clown launches a cow at Anthem* GOT MILK!? HEEHEE!" [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "......................." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "WAHAHAAA! WOOHOOHOO, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "*sound of breathing*" [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "Someone's been watching too much Monty Python." Outside> Mystic Hotrod strikes Funky Chicken with its Spectral Hand attack. [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "no, I havent!" Outside> Car 54 swerves a bit more, losing the rear bumper as a.. cow. A COW lands on the back of the car, removing the bumper, as well as a large section of trunk. In the driver's seat, Anthem screams in utter terror. Sgt. Reed dives over, grabbing the wheel to keep it steady. "Geez, why're you freaking out? I didn't know you were afraid of cows!" Anthem spits, grabbing hold of the wheel again, grinding the car along on two wheels for a moment. "I'm not! I HAD MY COFFEE THERMOS BACK THERE! THAT SON OF A..." And the camera cuts back to see a massive flow of COFFEE! spilling out of the back of the car. Outside> Car 54 strikes you with its Coffee Slick for 7 units of damage. [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "Now all we need is a giant foot to fall from the sky and someone to sing about Spam." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "WA HA HA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "~o Earthworm Jim! Through tha' Soil he did crawl! Earthworm Jim! A Supersuit did fall! o/~" [Radio: (D) Global] Auto transmits, "...I remember that Game." Outside> Suddenly, the singing breaks as Mitsurei realizes... he's -way behind-. WAY behind. Seventh place is unacceptable! >.< He checks behind him, so he knows who not to worry about. ha. Ha ha. But unfortunately... he notices Protoman and his evil blasting activity a second too late. "....!!" WHOA WHOA WHOA! O_O! THe Protoblast -slams- into him, sending a front piece of armor flying in scorched pandemonium... Mitsurei.. suddenly... hits an impasse. Chaos very briefly reigns as we now find out what happens when someone's gears lock up at 200 mph after being hit by a plasma blast on a bicycle. At some point during this interlude of wild cursing and rebounding off of the side of the track, Mitsurei is upside down, the bike riding -him- briefly, before he manages to recover- and still somehow manage to keep momentum. If nothing else, he -is- persistent. "..OW! >.<" [Radio: (D) Global] Top Man transmits, "Cartoon wuz better." [Radio: (D) Global] Ring Man transmits, "That reminds me of a certain british comedy troupe" Outside> Clown Man receives a radio transmission from Gravity Beetle. Gravity Beetle sends you a tightbeam radio transmission: "...Best... (pant) laugh I (gasp) had in (gasp) months. You know, Clown, you're a funny guy. Maybe I won't get your brother Magic Man back for atomizing my car... it was worth it for such a good view of that..." Outside> Also at this point, we will find it prudent to note somehow in the chaos, Mitsurei managed to miss the rocket narrowly. Yes. $$$.$$$ Outside> Mi-Cycle misses Red Striker with its Fouled Gears attack. Outside> The racers speed around the track.... Outside> Burn Baryonyx shakes his head, "Despite the firepower flying around the track, Michael Eildath is still in first place, with Bridgit Cascio not far behind! Magic Man edges out Top Man for third!" Outside> Harley Hoverbike isn't about to wait to get hit this time. He leans sidesaddle on his bike, pulling two pistols from his Jacket. "All right, Clown Boy, we're gonna have ourselves a little Hong Kong Pistol Opera here!" He starts firing, both at once, letting his Bike... drive itself? How its keeping balanced is anyone's guess. Outside> Harley Hoverbike strikes you with its John Woo Groove for 6 units of damage. Outside> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Current Systems Status $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Current Endurance: [|||| ] (15 / 74) Fuel Reserves: [||||||||||||||| ] (79 / 100) Status: Critical $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Outside> Current track positions: 20) Topsy Turvy (lap 3) 18) Red Striker (lap 3) 17) Mi-Cycle (lap 3) 16) Rocket Train (lap 3) 13) Lightmobile (lap 3) 12) Car 54 (lap 3) 10) Harley Hoverbike (lap 4) 9) Clownmobile II (lap 3) 6) Defiant Lite (lap 4) 3) Autotrack mk II (lap 3) 2) Mystic Hotrod (lap 4) 1) Funky Chicken (lap 3) Outside> 6th Place... Top Man stood in his way. He couldn't let that last. Firing off a volley of shots straight ahead, Protoman slams down hard on the gas pedal, his vehicle responding in turn as it pushes further up onto the track. It wasn't so much as 'Protoman Wants To Win' as 'Protoman Won't Lose To A Master'. After Top Man, Magic Man was all that stood in his way to achieving that goal. Outside> Red Striker strikes Topsy Turvy with its Proto Buster attack. Outside> Topsy Turvy falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Outside> Defiant Lite rattles ominously as the canine slinks forward, the helmet (resplendent with UN markings and 'E. CASCIO' stenciled on the brow) sliding down over his eyes. "Bloody mutt," she grumbles as he starts to yap, trying to get the thing off his snout. Reaching over to adjust the dog's helmet, she frowns as the wipers continue their fitful dance and then short out. "Goddamn acid bull!*$@," she mutters, downshifting into Nth gear. Yes, Nth gear. The shifter-knob's had its numbers worn off years ago, and Bridgit just knows how to drive a standard, not what the gears /are/. Outside> [OOC] Topsy Turvy says, "uh... Blues... 18-20..." Outside> [OOC] Red Striker says, "... FU**." [Radio: (D) Global] Gravity Beetle transmits, "STUPID HEAD DREIDEL THING! Nyah!" Outside> Autotrack mk II looks around at the competition. Well, lookie here. A Master, right behind him...time to get some things done. "Anchors away, my boy, anchors away dum dum dum..." And with the press of a button, the shell opens up on the Autotrack. While it's not an anchor that pops out, it might as well be, considering the sheer mass of metal scraps, junk, tools, and other random sharp, potentially dangerous things that's being thrown out of the trailer at the Magician. Outside> Autotrack mk II misses Mystic Hotrod with its Dump The Payload attack. Outside> Bun-bun seems a bit peeved that the hand didn't manage to smash the poultrymobile to bits. "C'mon!" he shouts as he presses another button. "Go BOOM!" One of the trap doors pops open again, the freshly reloaded crossbow popping out and firing its acid tipped arrow at the Funky Chicken. Outside> Mystic Hotrod strikes Funky Chicken with its Melf's Acid Arrow attack. Outside> Uranus takes out a medical scanner and scans Topsy Turvy . Outside> Rocket Train is left behind Mitsurei. Which is his only target in range, and in a position to put heat on Protoman as well. Sy's trying to protect Proto. So... Now a bunch of chainguns sprout from the train, rattling off nigh upon a thousand rounds of ammo. Hey, maybe some will even hit! Outside> Rocket Train strikes Mi-Cycle with its Chainguns attack. Outside> On the bumper sticker of the Lightmobile, easily seen for a moment, is 'How's my driving? Call 1-800-LIT-Labs'. Next to it is a bit more interesting one, with a road line, the center line, dashed. 'Tear along the dotted line' on it, showing that this old guy has been driving long enough to do just about anything with a nice little car, as long as he is paying attention. Nobody he really wants to shoot with that dart gun, so with his hands off the wheel he puts it away, then clicks off his wipers. "Rather hard to enjoy this with you guys doing that." he says to them, whistling softly and leaning on the windowledge with his elbow, one hand on the wheel, and PEDAL TO THE FLOOR! Outside> Clownmobile II hits damages by the bullets as well as the Coffee Slick, leaving nothing but it's rims to 'drive' by. "Um, no, Mikey... I'm planning on going Power Ranger Theatre on you..." Mech mode again... with a ton of missiles screaming down on Mike's position... Outside> Contrary to popular belief, Shyster isn't stupid. He's simply -very- stupid. But he does have enough intelligence to figure out that he doesn't have a -prayer- of qualifying in the top five for this race, what with his being waaaaay at the back of the pack, firmly in last place. Nope. Not a prayer. He should have used larger rocket boosters. But noooo, he had to go with the -economy- package. Next year, he's filling his engines with premium-grade COFFEE!, he is. The chickens crammed into the racer's rear-mounted coop screech in terror as the car gets rattled by a flying top, as well as an immense swat, courtesy of the Robot Masters...and Shyster executes another hairpin turn at less than premium speed. Their terror is, indeed, justified, considering that the guy at the wheel isn't steering - he's leaning forward, with his elbows resting on the dashboard, a thoughtful look on his face. Hm. He's losing. That much is evident. So, what's a Maverick to do? Think, think, think...Oh, yeah. Shyster snaps his fingers, and brightens. Just as Magic Man's arrow splatters against his windshield. Inspiration! That's right! He'll cause as much chaos as he possibly can! How could he forget? A grin of pure, unadulterated glee crosses Shyster's face as he swings the triple Feather Buster barrels round to bear, spewing a tracer-stream of screeching poultry that scorch the air. Literally. You can smell cooking meat, and the rain of burning feathers that fall from the sky...kinda give the game away. All aimed directly at the Magic Man. Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Mystic Hotrod with its Potent Poultry Power attack. Outside> Top Man, contrary to popular opinion, does not get blown up. In fact he doesn't even notice the blast which was too far away or something. He just continues driving, trying to pull ahead. And all that. ... I'm tired. Outside> You strike Harley Hoverbike with your Mech Assault attack. Outside> Anthem looks around. She's still in the middle of the pack, as much as it's spread out. In fact, the only person anywhere near close enough to Anthem for a shot is... Dr. Light. Again. She smacks her steering wheel. "Damnit!" Reed, in the side seat, shrugs lamely. "Not much we can do, unless you want me to climb out and push." Anthem looks at him. The human cop immediately gets a death-grip on the seat. "Oh, NO CHANCE, Annie!" She grunts, idly, and keeps the pedals down. Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "G'wan, hit Light, it'd be funny." Outside> Okay... that's quite enough of that! >_< At the chaingun ammunition spatters off of his rear armor, Mitsurei is now fairly irritated. It's now time... to retaliate for real! >.< Mitsurei -shoves- his bike's steering bar to -one- side, literally -launching- it onto an aerial FLIP of spinning acrobatics, out of the direct path of further fire. However... Seismic comes later. "SUPAA!" A brick lets fly. "GENKI!!" A paper mache missile. "WAI!!!" A grenade. "WAI!!!" A Hero Boy Keychain. "POWWAAA!!" Explosives -rain from the sky-, along with a copy of GamePro, a stuffed animal and -lots- of empty soda cans. Target? .. The jerk with the shades. Outside> Mi-Cycle strikes Red Striker with its Fantastic Energetic Paradigm attack. Outside> The racers speed around the track.... Outside> Current track positions: 19) Lightmobile (lap 3) Car 54 (lap 3) 17) Clownmobile II (lap 3) 14) Defiant Lite (lap 4) 11) Mystic Hotrod (lap 4) 8) Autotrack mk II (lap 3) 7) Topsy Turvy (lap 4) Funky Chicken (lap 3) Red Striker (lap 4) 5) Mi-Cycle (lap 4) 4) Rocket Train (lap 4) 1) Harley Hoverbike (lap 5) Outside> Burn Baryonyx shakes his head, "Michael Eildath remains into the lead, now beginning his final lap! Bridgit Cascio is still in second, with nobody around her, and Magic Man in third!" Outside> [OOC] Uranus afks a sec. Outside> Clownmobile II looks around, and seeing no targets... Team Clown merely drives. The damaged Ice Cream Truck/Mech playing the Sum41 song, "In Too Deep." Outside> Seismic growls. Oh, so you hit him anyway! The ball of darkness reformsat the front of the train and fires forwards, attempting to find a window to sneak into. Outside> Rocket Train strikes Mi-Cycle with its Crushing Blast attack. Outside> Autotrack mk II misses Magic with it's deadly payload, but Auto seems to have another chance. Looks like Top Man's behind him again! Shampoo, rinse, repeat. He presses the same button on the console, and the hatch opens again...however, instead of junk, random tools scatter about. "....dangit, I thought I took those out of there before the race. That was my favorite toolset. I even had that wrench specially engraved with my name...." Outside> After making a mistake like he did the last time, Protoman is now right atop the Top Man whom he missed the last round. Let's hope he has better luck, this time. Training the Proto Buster forward, Protoman lets loose with the same strike he utilized last time, hoping to have better results with the staple of his armory... Meanwhile, his car seems somewhat... Under the weather. But, it still drives. And with him tied for fourth place, he was going to try to assert his dominance over the fourth spot. Outside> Harley Hoverbike finally pulls away from Clown Man, armor and bike singed and sizzled as he weathered a missile barrage. Mike handled it like a pro, though, weaving and bobbing, taking more damage from debris than actual hits... I mean hey, he's on a hovercycle... out in the open. Mike smiles as he's clear, and accellerates, kicking the boosters back up to full. Outside> Autotrack mk II misses Topsy Turvy with its Mechanic Panic attack. Outside> Red Striker strikes Topsy Turvy with its Proto Buster attack. Outside> Topsy Turvy falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Gamma CO Gemini Man transmits, "That looked like it sucked." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "TOPSY! NOOOOO!" Outside> Defiant Lite shakes, rattles and hums as it zooms along. "@*$!, Ein," she notes in surprise as she finally hears the announcer over the noise of the engine. "We're in second." She blinks behind her racing goggles, Einstein finally getting up the courage to press the window button and roll it down. He sticks his head out the window, jowls and tongue flapping in the powerful backdraft created by the screaming tank-car. Outside> Harpoon Hydra enters the New England. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "Eh. That's too bad." Outside> Rule Number #1. Birds of a feather flock together. And Shyster knows this. After all, he's the one helming the Starship Chicken, ain't he? Leaning out of his driver's side window, Shyster applauds soberly as Mitsurei launches himself over Blues in a stunning display of acrobatic cycling, pelting the shaded wonder with a veritable hailstorm of random objects. Yes, he approves. That's the kind of thing -he'd- do. The forces of Alternative Weaponry MUST PREVAIL! The Funky Chicken spins to the side, pointing its front at Blues' Red Striker as it races past. The chrome grill at the front of the Funky Chicken splits open in a hiss of superheated steam. The nose of the vehicle clamshells open, folding apart like a Chinese puzzle. Within the car's hood, machinery glows with an eerie green light - and then, that light intensifies, bursting forth in a retina-searing wave of streaking brightness. A wave that has, at its crest...a very, very worried looking rooster. A rooster that's currently travelling faster than any fowl not being served as a meal on an intercontinental airline has any right to go, travelling so fast that wind resistance causes it to burst into flame. Mmmn. Toasty. Colonel Sanders, eat your -heart- out. Poor chicken. But at least it's getting a nice special effect with the whole flight package. Outside> Funky Chicken strikes Red Striker with its Sponsored By A. C. M. E. attack. Outside> Red Striker falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Outside> Red Striker removes itself from the race roster. Outside> [OOC] Wacky Racer says, "...That's the second time the Topsy Turvy's been blown up..." [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "Shyster is now my best friend. That is all." Outside> [OOC] Rocket Train says, "The first was a mistake." Outside> Topsy Turvy finally DOES get blown to hell, wheels flying off and armor finally buckling. Skidding accross the track, Topsy Turvy comes to a halt, forcibly. Sniffling for a moment, Top looks at his car and... begins crying. "NOOOO! NOT AGAIN! WHY DOYA ALWAYS BLOW UP TOPSY!?" *sob* Outside> Topsy Turvy removes itself from the race roster. Outside> Dust Man arrives from the Great Plains. Outside> Dust Man enters the Appalachian States. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Stupid head Protoman! I wish I could beat 'im up but he's lotsa tuffer'n me so I CAN'T! Hmph... *sniffle sniffle* Someone always blows up Topsy..." Outside> Dust Man arrives from the Appalachian States. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Gamma CO Gemini Man transmits, "Well, it happens." Outside> Anthem looks over at Light. Again. This is starting to get really, really annoying. Nobody in range else. Aw, what the heck, why not. Anthem leans out her window, and waves at Light. "HEY!" She makes a 'roll your window down' motion. Then, with a smirk, she shouts - "Pardon me! Would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?" Then, cackling like a maniac, she floors it. Again. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "There there." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Theres next time Top... While he's been taken out of the race as well... Too bad we could've crushed him with the tank treads later." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "'s not fair tho... It happened last time I wuz inna race too." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man doesn't really sound very comforting. Maybe it's just because he's distracted by driving. Yeah. That's it. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Meanie heads, always pickin' on Topsy." Outside> Left wide open by attacking Top Man for Auto in place of Shyster, Protoman is hit by the chicken, the last that the car can take. Puttering and stopping on the side of the track, Protoman steps out slightly, before shrugging his shoulders. Maybe next year. Not letting his aura of cool be shattered by being defeated by -- of all things, a rubber chicken -- Blues simply teleports out after retrieving his shield, leaving his battered car on the side of the track. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "It is because you are the fastest." Outside> Lightmobile misses Car 54 with it's Grey Poupon attack. Outside> Gravity Beetle takes Wacky Racer . Outside> The Mi-Cycle LANDS! Only to _SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL_ as it's slapped around worse than a red-headed stepchild with the Fuggin Huge Energy Beam launched at it from behind by the Rocket Train. Armor bouncing off in all directions and struggling to recover, Mitsurei imagines it's now time to pay attention to the people that are -behind- him. He withdraws something. It is ... a -small bag of flour-. Mitsurei looks behind him at the large train. >.> ".... Big.. meanie." He -flings- the bag of flour at the big-reared thing's front windshield. ... *BOOM!* Flour.. -everywhere-. AAAAH!! O_O Mitsurei power-steers around a smouldering piece of his own armor as he looks back forward ... at what is -again-, the last second. That's gonna get him killed, onna these days. Outside> Mi-Cycle strikes Rocket Train with its Flour Bomb attack. Outside> The racers speed around the track.... Outside> Burn Baryonyx blinks a few times, "And Protoman finishes off Top Man's car, only to be blown off the track by another one of Shyster's chickens! Hey, guys, this is a race, not a demolition derby!" He pauses a moment and smacks his forehead. "My mistake. Keep doin' whatcher doin'!" Shrugging a bit, he looks back to the track, "Michael Eildath is still in first, approaching the finish line... Bridgit Cascio and Magic Man both hold strongly in second and third as they come into their final laps!" Outside> Current track positions: 14) Funky Chicken (lap 3) 13) Mi-Cycle (lap 4) Harley Hoverbike (lap 5) Autotrack mk II (lap 3) 12) Rocket Train (lap 4) 7) Lightmobile (lap 4) 6) Car 54 (lap 4) 5) Clownmobile II (lap 4) 4) Defiant Lite (lap 5) 1) Mystic Hotrod (lap 5) Outside> Top Man steps out of his car as well, but doens't just abandon it by the side. No, instead he shoves Topsy Turvy off the track, beginning to drag it to the Master pit area so it can be fixed and placed back in his room, ready for the next race. (OOC: Not the physical object, of course ;) Outside> Cut Man arrives from the New England. Outside> Cut Man enters the Great Plains. Outside> Clownmobile II drives along until he sees Anthem. He SMILES as he keys up a small switch... Anthem, prepare to experience Death from Chocolate. Ice Cream Style. Outside> Were Shyster a more sensible driver, he might exercise some level of actual precautions in his steering. But as it stands, he's...well, he's -Shyster-. He's driving a vehicle that has a whole bunch of captive chickens squawking to high heaven in a wire coop round the back. That doesn't exactly bode well for road safety precautions, does it? As he rolls down the track, Shyster sneaks a glance in his rear-view mirror, and blinks in surprise. Fancy that, it's Mister Eildath, the race leader himself. Uh-oh. Shyster's smiling. That can't be a good thing. Flashing his best 'used-car salesman' megawatt grin, the Maverick leans forward, past his steering wheel, and yells into his dashboard microphone, "HEY, HARLEY-BOY! Wanna hear the specials for today? We've got original-flavour chicken, spicy chicken...oh, wait, I know what you need! The premium deluxe set B special ROADKILL chicken!" Nope. That -can't- be a good thing. With the push of a button, the huge wire chicken coop that dominates the entire rear portion of the Funky Chicken...-explodes- open, the main hatch tearing off its hinges and shattering into a million pinwheeling shards. Chicken after chicken spills out in the vehicle's wake, flooding the air and track with a solid mass of hysterical squawking feathery bodies. Don't look now, but it seems to be raining poultry. RESPECT DE FUNKAH CHICKEN. Outside> Funky Chicken misses Harley Hoverbike with its Feather Buster Megablast attack. Outside> You strike Car 54 with your Ice Cream Missiles attack. Outside> Defiant Lite rumbles. Rumbles along... and speeds up suddenly, a savage gleam in her emerald green eyes as she spies who's ahead of her. "Einstein! FETCH." The canine blinks and rummages down in the leg-room before retrieving the .44 Magnum once again. Dropping it into her lap, the dog barks as the woman readies the weapon, drawing alongside Clown for a moment, overclocking the engine. With a broad, merry sh*t-eating grin, she levels the weapon out the window at Clown's car (preferably at Clown) and -fires-. BLAM! Outside> Defiant Lite strikes you with its Drive-by Shooting for 8 units of damage. Outside> Anthem looks in her rearview mirror. Just behind her, there's.. Clown Man. Ooooh, she dun like him. He's too.. happy. Or some kinda crap like that. Who cares, he just plain needs to DIE. So, letting off the gas for a quarter second, Car 54 drops back slightly, letting Anthem get lined up with Clown - on the opposite side and at the same time Bridgit does. She, too, pulls out a gun - an old lever-action Winchester shotgun. Giving it a quick one-handed flick of the wrist to load it, she leans out the window. "SUCK IT, MIME BOY!" Kablamo! Outside> Autotrack mk II may have indirectly caused Protoman's demise, but time to make it up to the good guys. Lookie what we have here...someone getting a little too close to Mike. Time to run defense for his fellow Hunter. Flipping a cover off a part of his console, he slams down on a big red button with his fist. All of a sudden, the bumper of the Autotrack shakes and shudders. Then, without warning.... *FWSHOOM!* The Jaw rockets toward Mitsurei!! FEAR THE ROCKET UNDERBITE!!!! Outside> Car 54 strikes you with its Drive By Shooting for 8 units of damage. Outside> You fall to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Outside> Autotrack mk II misses Mi-Cycle with its Rocket Underbite attack. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "That had to hurt... You ok in there Clown?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] RM #30 Dust Man transmits, "How's it going?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "An' another'n bites tha dust! MEANIEHEADS! Why don't they just race!?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Good news. I'm alive. Bad news -- The ride is destroyed. MOMMY!!! *sobs!*" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Ballade transmits, "The objective of this competition is to win, either by speed, or by tactical ability." Outside> Rocket Train stays behind Mitsurei, weaving about as the flour coats his viewing screen. The train derails! Well, jacknifes, and spins all the way around in a trampling swath of death. The rocket boosters on the back sweep by Mitsurei before the worm rights himself and speeds onward! Outside> Rocket Train strikes Mi-Cycle with its Flamethrowers attack. Outside> Mi-Cycle falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Anything goes in this race Top... Yeah destruction is the key and we'll crush that car if we are able to survive our heat." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Flash Man transmits, "It seems the worm will be difficult to beat." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Top Man transmits, "Well that's no fair." Outside> Harley Hoverbike is fired at by Shyster! Is he gonna sit there and take that? Oh HELL no! Mike guns the engine, dodging the chickes as they fall behind him, and pulls up something mounted on the side of the bike. It looked like the engine... but... It's a cannon! No... it's the Incinerator Rifle! Mike pulls up his primary weapon, and lets Shyster have a little. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Not fair, who has to be fair... As long as we test our new weapon systems we'll have fun." Outside> Harley Hoverbike strikes Funky Chicken with its Incinerator Spray attack. Outside> Clownmobile II gets filleted by Bridget and Anthem. Coffee drinkers. Damn them. Clown and Sideshow sulks in their destroyed Ice Cream Truck, before sighing. "Oh well, there is always next year." They exit the truck, leaving it behind... Outside> Clownmobile II removed from the current race. Sideshow> Clown Man has left. Midwest Often confused with the South, the Midwest is the area between the Great Plains and the East Coast. Many of the areas here are a mixture of suburbs, cities, and sleepy towns, acting as a sort of transition area between the Great Plains, the South, and the East. Most of the identity of this area is tied to the Mississippi and Ohio rivers, which once acted as a lifeline to cities nestled along its banks many centuries ago. Filled with a rich diversity, many stories can be found about the adventure and excitement that once thrived along the rivers. Wacky Racer [M] Topsy Turvy [RM] Snake Speeder III [RM] Funky Chicken [M] Rocket Train [MH] Buzzboar [RF] Mi-Cycle [M] Harley Hoverbike [MH] Mystic Hotrod [RM] Lightmobile [MH] Clownmobile II [SD] Defiant Lite [C] Red Striker [MH] Autotrack mk II [MH] Car 54 [RF] Car Race Rules Uranus [Admin] [SD] Race Track News Camera #1 Floating Stadium Sam's Club Reploid Metal Factory Obvious exits: Southeast leads to Eastern Seaboard. East leads to New England. West leads to Great Plains. South leads to Appalachian States. North leads to Central Canada. Up leads to Sky Above Eastern United States. Sideshow> You follow Clown Man. Sideshow has arrived. Sideshow> Clown Man has left. Floating Stadium This stadium is actually several constructs floating in midair on flying platforms. A small teleporter chamber sits in the center of the stadium platorms, with walkways linking them all together. Type 'teleport' to return to the ground. Contents: Top Man Job Gravity Beetle Snake Man Dust Man Fencer Naiad Chill Penguin Number Man Coaster Raptor Dr. Wily Rickshaw Chimp Storm Eagle Overdrive Ostrich Gizmo Glider Jared Kintane Flash Man Quint Morph Moth Barrage Raptor Search Man Dr. Pavel Cossack RollRoll Arafina Gemini Man Cacophony Timberwolf Elias Kiritsu Dirge Sewa Ether Skunk Bastion Sideshow> You follow Clown Man. Sideshow has arrived. [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf ... waits to see if anyone actually gets it to groan at it [OOC] Barrage Raptor groans. Search Man leans back as he watches the race, "Now this is a demolition derby... Yeah too bad a few of ur fellow masters were taken out." Number Man blinks. "Okay, the little freak maverick and his little freak love-slave are starting to disturb even me." [OOC] Barrage Raptor set's her own. Let's see how many people get it. > From outside, Spica has arrived. [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf groans back at Barrage's [OOC] Dust Man says, "AHHHH!" Clown Man arrives from their own destruction... still crying. "Meanies..." [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich whistles! Let's hit the road! AWOOOOO! Gravity Beetle is doomed, evidently. Someone, anyone, pull the tortured soul from the trashman. It's dark and smelly in here. Please. > From outside, Light drives. He's starting to get into a rhythm (what's he been doing til now if not that? Oy) and cruising around the corners. Not really interested in taking out Anthem, and nobody else is in range (I'll get my mustard back after, perhaps) he shakes his head softly and looks at his radio. Winces at a high note and starts to fidget with the dial, then looks up in time to signal..."Got to stop that...I know better than to tailgate." He smiles, relaxing.. > From outside, Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission. Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. Spica has arrived. Snake Man nods. "If you win, I may have to go up againssst you. I'm already in the finalsss." Dust Man puts another tiara on Clown's head. [OOC] Spica says, "...holy sweet mother god." [OOC] Top Man says, "What ARE ya'll talking about?" > From outside, The racers speed around the track.... [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "Caco's desc." [OOC] Job says, "So when is the next race?" [OOC] Dust Man says, "QUICK, GEMINI! +SCAN SPICA!" Dr. Pavel Cossack keeps watching the race, staring down at it. His jaw slightly shifts now and again. [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "When this one ends." [OOC] Dust Man giggles. [OOC] Spica says, "Do it and suffer pain." [OOC] Clown Man says, "Gah. I'm Princess Clown now. o.o" [OOC] Quint says, "Hmm." Barrage Raptor just look at you. Woo HA! ^_^ Job takes out a medical scanner and scans Spica. Quint changes into his Without Sakugarne armor. Sewa looks at Cossack, hearing every word, really....stare...Wily...hurt...Kali...She scowls and sits down, crossing her arms, "...Rgggh...", she grumbles. [OOC] Gemini Man can't scan. [OOC] Barrage Raptor eyes Clown.. > From outside, Mystic Hotrod somehow manages to remain in the clear. Magic couldn't be happier, but the bloodlusting bunny is fidgiting at his post. [OOC] Gemini Man says, "Oh, you mean holoscan? No :)" Dust Man takes out a medical scanner and scans Spica. [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf giggles as people get it now Spica strikes Dust Man with her Elemental Wrath attack. > From outside, Dust Man falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Dust Man falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [OOC] Top Man says, "I don't get it" > From outside, It's time for some Mitsu-Powah Peddlin'! >.< Mitsurei -really- turns on the speed now, his legs a literal -blur- as he speeds up, his gears -shrieking- as they wind through the bicycle's drivetrain. Thankfully, most of the bicycle underneath is still guarded by substantial amounts of armoring, but Mitsurei is undaunted. Still. It's amazing he's lasted -this- long on that contraption he calls a Battle and Chase car. Still--MUST MOVE FASTER. And just then, his walkman clicks. o/` I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.. o/` .... "SWEET!" >D Fitting, ne? Well, it's -extremely- old, but Mitsurei makes it his business to specialize in old genki music. Pedalling up beside Mikey, the anonymous masked form peers to one side. "......" Yeah. Real cool. He doesn't like your wavy scarf, man. $$$.$$$ ... Wait? Isn't he in the lead, too? Well... At that point- WHOOPS. No time to attack now... there's a BUMPER HEADING HIS WAY! Mitsurei -VAULTS- into the air on his Mi-Cycle- bounces off the ground, narrowly being missed by the dreaded underbite, poppnig a wheelie, before being torched. There is a problem. Mitsurei left his amunition bay open. ... Ah, crap. Needless to say, what happens next is... a _MASSIVE_ explosion. "MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" o/` *huh, hah, MAYDAY!* o/` Pieces of armor fly everywhere. Now you see the true problems with riding a bike on the race track- pieces of chain, a flaming lucky rabbit's foot, and a kickball go flying the track, creating a rather interesting set of hazards for everyone else. As for that mysterious man? _RIGHT OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACK,_ hair smouldering and sitting on a bike seat, the remains of his handles clenched in hand. A care _STREAKS_ past him. "AAah! C.c" He heads off the track, bike handles in hand... GRAH! >.< > From outside, Dr. Wily sends a radio transmission. Dr. Wily sends a radio transmission. > From outside, Dr. Pavel Cossack receives a radio transmission. Dr. Pavel Cossack receives a radio transmission. > From outside, Mi-Cycle removes itself from the race roster. > From outside, Burn Baryonyx covers his eyes with a hand, but peeks through the fingers, "And a -bike- gets blasted out of the track. Who the heck let that kid enter in that? I hope he signed a waiver!" Shaking his head, he looks across the track, "Michael Eildath crosses the finish line, qualifying for the finals!Bridgit Cascio and Magic Man are still second and third, with Anthem rounding into her final lap as well!" [OOC] Dust Man fails and dies. [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf says, "Never saw Road Rovers did you Dusty?" [OOC] Spica says, "Okay. I need to know those people that have entered the car competition and -Must Go Soon-." Fencer Naiad blinks, "Why is Spica attacking Dusty?" [OOC] Coaster Raptor has! :D [OOC] Fencer Naiad says, "That should be OOC..." > From outside, Well, Auto's missed all his targets, but lookie here...chicken boy....time to pay him back for those chicken attacks. What's good for the goose.... [OOC] Gemini Man would like to be in the next wave, please. > From outside, Number Man sends a radio transmission. Number Man sends a radio transmission. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Number Man. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Number Man. [OOC] Top Man hasn't seen Road Rovers in a while... > From outside, Autotrack mk II strikes Funky Chicken with its Rubber Chicken Toss attack. [OOC] Gemini Man is tying up the phone line so I an't be around forever. [OOC] Morph Moth says, "Because he scanned her withour permission." [OOC] Gravity Beetle remembers thatcartoon, it was great. [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich hadn't looked, Caco. :> [OOC] Spica says, "If you aren't pressed for time, please be patient." > From outside, Defiant Lite drops out of its hyper-speed, watching Clown be tossed like trash, and then Bridgit blinks slightly as she catches sight of the old police cruiser. "Well, @*&# me with a rusty spoon," she muses in surprise, realizing hey, she's still in this. And probably got a hand with that, no way could her gun have done that... "Things just get weirder ev'ry day," she notes sagely to Einstein as she jams the pedal into the floorboards, straining for the final stretch. [OOC] Jared Kintane would like to be in the next wave, as I was planning on going out at 10. Coaster Raptor nods a little bit, staying on the stairs, "Well outside of Cedar State, yeah, not often enough," he tells Barrage. [OOC] Spica says, "And page that too, please. :)" [OOC] Dust Man apologizes. [OOC] Gizmo Glider would like to be in the next wave too. [OOC] Spica said don't do it. [OOC] Elias Kiritsu would also like to be in next wave. But it's not really necessary. I got all day. [OOC] Roll is hoping to go next as well. Like I mentioned before, I have something to do later. > From outside, Anthem sees the finish line. Sees *nobody* in her way or around her. Floors the pedal. In the background, the Dukes of Hazzard theme blares. Anthem once more glares at Reed. "...Idiot." > From outside, Harley Hoverbike raises a hand as he crosses the finish line, gun still gripped in it as he cheers, pulling to a stop as he pulls the bike towards the pit area. Leaping from the cooling machine, he puts down the Incinerator Rifle and thrusts a fist skyward! "YEAH!" Barrage Raptor nods, "Well, I mean, besides my brother, who's watching back in New York. Assuming that the signal doesn't get cut off again, you know.." She mutters, "I swear, when I find out who did that, I'm gonna strap 'em with explosives and punt 'em off a building.." Dust Man has disconnected. Gemini Man snickers. [OOC] Top Man says, "I gotta go ya'll. Assume I'm still here" [OOC] Top Man wavies [OOC] Gemini Man says, "Bye, top!" > From outside, Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission to Dr. Wily. Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission to Dr. Wily. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. [OOC] Gravity Beetle says, "Byee!" Top Man has disconnected. [OOC] Spica is only taking the requests via page. :> Coaster Raptor efs, "Yeah I heard about that, dunno who'd do that. I have a few brothers back at the park that'll be watching probably." > From outside, Rocket Train swerves to avoid a detonating bike, then slides over onto the other side of Shyster... The missile rack pivots... tilts... Time for fried chicken? It's shake and bake! > From outside, Light waves back at Bridgit, grinning happily as he turns to smile at her. Looks like a nice lady, wonder where Anthem went. Oh, far ahead, right. He's got issues with speed, it seems. What you get for entering with a normal car, I suppose. He looks forward, around, nothing to do but drive. The old man kicks his door open a tiny bit and lets the turn slam it closed, grumbling. "Hate these modern door latches." Then leans, and enjoys. > From outside, Rocket Train strikes Funky Chicken with its Rocket Launcher attack. > From outside, The Funky Chicken explodes forward on its merry way, rattling from the damage that mars its formerly pristine surface. A burn from Eildath's incinerator there, a rocket lodged in its side -there-...by all rights, the car should be a crater by now. But it's still moving, traveling in a cloud of noxious exhaust smoke thick enough to choke Toxic Seahorse. The powerful engines that propelled it forward sound horribly, horribly strained, and the few remaining chickens trapped in its rear-mounted coop no longer look so terrified. Instead, they just look somewhat tired. Or dead. Cackling wildly, Shyster squeezes the triggers built into the body of his steering wheel, as the roof-mounted Feather Buster sucks up the last of the chickens in its ammunition bay, pelting them in passing at the massive bulk of Seismic Earthworm's Rocket Train. That was the last of his ammunition, and his car's not looking very good at all. But he's still going! FOR HE IS SHYSTER! He is invincible! And that's when Shyster realizes, belatedly, that he's out of gas. The Funky Chicken rattles to a halt in the middle of the track, stopping -dead-. As a grumbling Shyster climbs out of the cabin, a few assorted pieces of the vehicle clatter to the track. Feh. Should have bolted on an extra tank. Ah, well. No chickens were harmed in the making of this Battle and Chase session. Badly maimed, yes, just harmed, no. Any resemblence to actual poultry, living, dead, or pan-fried, is entirely concidental. Shyster Broadcasting Corporation (colour) 2002 > From outside, Dr. Wily sends a radio transmission to Dr. Pavel Cossack. Dr. Wily sends a radio transmission to Dr. Pavel Cossack. > From outside, Dr. Pavel Cossack receives a radio transmission. Dr. Pavel Cossack receives a radio transmission. > From outside, Funky Chicken strikes Rocket Train with its Automobile Anime Physics 101 attack. Spica misses Job with her Elemental Wrath attack. > From outside, The racers speed around the track.... Number Man starts snickering uncontrollably, but doesn't say anything. Spica misses Job with her Elemental Wrath attack. Spica misses Job with her Elemental Wrath attack. > From outside, [OOC] Funky Chicken needs to get away from the computer. He'll remain connected, to log, but he has to go get changed and take a shower. My time's up. [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf mocks Spica. > From outside, [OOC] Uranus nods Gemini Man, now overhearing the conversation between the Raptors, buries his face in his hand, laughing. [OOC] Morph Moth says, "etooo. :D" > From outside, Funky Chicken removes itself from the race roster. Gizmo Glider gazes towards both of the scientist types and hisses softly. "Foolish Stink monkeys, think they are smarter then the great Gizmo! Oh they will see they will see all when I plow over their cars and smash them into the dust." The little scientist that is just under 5 feet continues to leap about and stamping his feet. [OOC] Spica says, "Any other requests?" [OOC] Spica says, "This is -only- for those that must go." > From outside, Rocket Train has nobody to pick on... aww... ROCKET ROCKET speeding speeding... [OOC] Job says, "Requests?" [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "Yes. I'd like a pepperoni pizza, please." > From outside, Burn Baryonyx waves a little pennant, "Bridgit Cascio pulls through in second! Magic Man is close behind, with Anthem not far behind.. by this point, everyone but Auto and Shyster are on their final laps!" [OOC] Barrage Raptor says, "Oh, it's only if you have to go? I can wait then." [OOC] Spica says, "I said that, Barrage. ;>" [OOC] Arafina says, "Did my page get through? Was having connection troubles. Fixed now." [OOC] Barrage Raptor lost it in spam, then.. [OOC] Spica says, "Yes, Arafina." Snake Man spots something that lightens his mood considerably. Gemini. He gets up and starts to head over in his direction. After much jiggling, Gravity Beetle manages to finally topple the trashcan over. Using only the finger of his free hand as locomotion, he begins to slowly (oh so slowly) move across the floor. Then Gizmo's stamping knocks a random, small rock away, which pings against the side of the trashcan, causing it to start rolling away. Yep, the trashcan was at the top of a slope. And yes, Gravity is now in for a world of pain. [OOC] Dirge says, "I'd like one (1) Snowcat.." [OOC] Storm Eagle says, "Freshly fried..." [OOC] Spica says, "Okay. Who else is registered in this?" [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "And a cute ostrich femme." [OOC] Sewa is. [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "I am." [OOC] Morph Moth is registered. [OOC] Gravity Beetle says, "Get me out of the trashcan!" [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "I want an ostrich steak." [OOC] Job would like a side order of Wily please. [OOC] Morph Moth takes GB out of the trash. [OOC] Gravity Beetle says, "Please, please! Help me!" [OOC] Sewa says, "Ostrich steak is yummy." [OOC] Cacophony Timberwolf facepalms at Dirge. And is registered in the race > From outside, Mystic Hotrod speeds along, engine roaring. The finish line...it's close...so close! Bun-bun has finally gotten into the joy of placing - especially because he's realized that another match means more chances to blow $#*& up! [OOC] Dirge is registered in the race. [OOC] Dr. Wily is registered, mmmyes. [OOC] Job says, "I'm set for the race." > From outside, Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission. Dr. Pavel Cossack sends a radio transmission. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Dr. Pavel Cossack. [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "I am." [OOC] Morph Moth says, "Hit him again, Spica. :D" [OOC] Barrage Raptor is registered? I'm just waiting for whatever heat I'm supposed to go in. [OOC] Elias Kiritsu is registered for the racing. But can wait if I have to. Spica strikes Job with her Elemental Wrath attack. > From outside, Job falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Job falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [OOC] Job ows. x.x [OOC] Morph Moth patpats the Sniper Joe. :D [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "Wow, blew him out of the stadium.." [OOC] Gravity Beetle says, "Shame that." [OOC] Chill Penguin would be getting really tired if I waited fromever [OOC] Job says, "Hey I dodged her 3 times ina row. ^.^" > From outside, Final lap? Of course, though he's not won, he's shown happily what good a simple car can do, without super charging, no godlike abilities, just skill and training. Light is there, watching Bridgit whip by him, and waves a bit. He'd shoot her, but...why? Radios to Auto "Having fun, Son?" Seems to be rather enjoying, surprise? Whips around a corner with his tires -smoking- and moves toward the finish line, can see it around a few more corners, and taps his finger on the doorframe to the beat of the music. [OOC] Job says, "Can I get healed up for the race please." > From outside, Number Man sends a radio transmission to Dr. Wily. Number Man sends a radio transmission to Dr. Wily. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission. Jared Kintane takes out a medical scanner and scans Job. > From outside, Autotrack mk II doesn't really do anything He's just kinda puttering along. Yep, the Autotrack sucks as a racer. Maybe next year, Big Green. Morph Moth takes out a medical scanner and scans Job. [OOC] Morph Moth says, "Ouchies. :D" Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. [OOC] Morph Moth says, "..." Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. Ether Skunk strikes Bastion with her Grasp attack. [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich RUNS. Dr. Wily cackles at Number Man's transmission, and then pauses. "Hrmph. Except for that time Aqua Man went shopping for curtains..." Ether Skunk misses Spica with her Grasp attack. Gizmo Glider strikes Spica with his Duct Tape attack. Spica is temporarily disoriented by Gizmo Glider's Duct Tape attack. [OOC] Job says, "Medic c.c" Bastion strikes Spica with his Nanite Swarm attack. > From outside, Spica falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. Spica falls to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage. [OOC] Elias Kiritsu says, "Um?" > From outside, The racers speed around the track.... [OOC] Quint says, "..." [OOC] Coaster Raptor follows Driver. [OOC] Arafina says, "STOP. It's screwing my log. ;)" [OOC] Barrage Raptor says, "Yayith." [OOC] Elias Kiritsu says, "..............................................." [OOC] Dr. Wily says, "ARGH!" [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich peers. > From outside, Number Man sends a radio transmission. Number Man sends a radio transmission. > From outside, Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Number Man. Dr. Wily receives a radio transmission from Number Man. [OOC] Gravity Beetle says, "Hee hee." [OOC] Overdrive Ostrich says, "Yeah, Bastion, quit screwing that log!" > From outside, Burn Baryonyx keeps on waving that flag, "Magic Man pulls in for third and Anthem for fourth! Now it's a race for the final qualifying slot, but it looks like Seismic Earthworm is untouchable!" [OOC] Chill Penguin says, "that sounds so wrong" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Theta Squad Advisor Clown Man transmits, "Go, Maggie! Place! PLACE!!! Let Topsy and mine sacrifice be not in vain. Oh, and Snakey's too." [OOC] Barrage Raptor says, "Only if you have a sick mind." [OOC] Arafina says, "Yes, I missed an up. Sue me, I've been studying. ;)" Gizmo Glider has forgotten all about Gravity? What there is a Gravity Beetle that was in his care? Nah! Rumors! All rumors. [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "I think that's the point." [OOC] Quint says, "Studying with your log?" > From outside, Mitsurei has arrived. Gravity Beetle rolls to a halt, far away from the stands. Crashing right into a wall. > From outside, Mystic Hotrod coasts to a halt after crossing the finish line. The magician emerges, looking over his battered vehicle with a rather pleased smirk. Oh yes. Here come the finals. Bun-bun is a bit more vocal with his pleasure at this turn of events and has returned to shouting obscenities happily. Mitsurei has arrived. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Magic Man transmits, "I'm glad at least one of us got through. Let's hope our brothers do better in the next heats!" > From outside, Autotrack mk II drives along far back behind everyone. Dum de dum de dum.....nothing much here. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Synth transmits, "Or that the Doctor leads us to victory, of course." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Dr. Wily transmits, "Hrmph. I WILL BE IN THE FINALS! BWA HA HA HA HAAA!" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Elite Master. No, really. Quint transmits, "Of course. I'm in the next heat, I think." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "To hell with -hope-. Let's make sure of it!" Gravity Beetle says, "Gggizmo Gliiiider eatzzz it." > From outside, And...Light looks pretty crappy at this end, easing up toward the finish line...there's a train in the race? "I missed seeing a TRAIN ahead of me? Damn, old man, you have to get your vision checked." Looks out. Chickens on the track. Shrapnel, hats, pieces of cars, some floaty ribbons, four tires that seem to have once had a car in them. Light just...looks. He drives between it all, his car floating like a trained dancer under his fingers and blinks. "I have to admit...they are a colorful bunch. Kudos." And slams the last gear, downshifting hard as his front tires lift just a bit, roaring that lovely engine toward the finish. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Time to roll out... Its time for a tank attack." Dr. Pavel Cossack mutters about something not having the same ring to it. Number Man nods to Cossack. It's a matter of panache, really. > From outside, Rocket Train cruises. Ladeeda... EXTREME SPEED! The JATO's turn downwards, making the train hover like the one out of Back to the Future, engine bells on the rear blasting the train forward one last time. Garbage plays loudly. o/` This is the noise that keeps me awake, my head explodes and my body aches! o/` Spica has left. > From outside, The racers speed around the track.... Gizmo Glider is too into the zone to hear Gravity but out of no where a janitor sweeps up the remains of Gravity and attempts to toss him back into the trash. Gemini Man is still laughing to himself... when he looks up, he sees Snake Man wandering the stands. ...Crap. Blues has arrived. > From outside, [OOC] Blues returns from OOCness. [OOC] Blues returns from OOCness. Blues has left. > From outside, Blues has arrived. > From outside, Blues enters the New England. > From outside, Blues has left. > From outside, Shyster has arrived. Shyster has arrived. > From outside, Burn Baryonyx hops up and down, "And it's over, as Seismic takes fifth! The only remaining racers are Dr. Light in sixth and Auto in seventh! Congratulations to our first heat racers!" > From outside, Harley Hoverbike removes itself from the race roster. > From outside, Michael Eildath has arrived. > From outside, Bridgit Cascio has arrived. > From outside, Defiant Lite drops Bridgit Cascio. Rickshaw Chimp wakes up with his metal tongue sticking out. He blinks and shouts, "I STUDIED! I STUDIED! I SWEAR!!! YOU LITTLE WHIPPERSNAPPERNSANOAHOH OH MY GOD!" He blinks, "...Whaaaaaaat? Haven't they blown up yet? Over! Over!!! Yayy!!!!!" The monkey bounds up and applauds. > From outside, Bridgit Cascio has disconnected. > From outside, Rocket Train removes itself from the race roster. > From outside, Mystic Hotrod removes itself from the race roster. > From outside, Anthem has arrived. > From outside, Car 54 drops Anthem. > From outside, Magic Man has arrived. > From outside, Anthem has disconnected. > From outside, Anthem has connected. [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Santa Claus is so slow. How does he make it around the world without help?" Flash Man has disconnected. Shyster has disconnected. Anthem has arrived. > From outside, Seismic Earthworm has arrived. > From outside, Autotrack mk II removes itself from the race roster. > From outside, Rocket Train dropkicks Seismic Eathworm. > From outside, Auto has arrived. [Radio: (D) Global] Egocentric? ME?! Quint transmits, "It's called Christmas Magic, dork. Not Santa Magic. He can only do it at Christmas." Search Man watches the race before looking at eachother, "Ready to do this?... I'm always ready just keep your eyes on the road... I'll do that if you keep you keep your eyes and our weapons on the enemy." [OOC] Rickshaw Chimp says, "Hope I get to race. Yeah! Racing is fun! Where is my car?" Number Man has left. > From outside, Teleported. Gravity Beetle has disconnected. [Radio: (D) Global] Chill Penguin transmits, "R-re-r-rein-reindeer?" Search Man has left. > From outside, Search Man has arrived. Gemini Man stands up. ...welllll...time for the next race gotta go!! [Radio: (D) Global] Elias Kiritsu transmits, "Okay, it's official. You lot are nuts." Gemini Man has left. > From outside, Teleported. Dirge has left. > From outside, Teleported. > From outside, Magic Man parks his car in the appropriate location, then heads for the stands, Bun-bun still shouting curses from a perch atop Magic's top hat. Number Man has arrived. > From outside, Light's car spins across the finish line, grin on the old man's face as he lets the car burn itself out. It ends up...parallel parked, right between the Mystic Hotrod and Car 54. Then the old man gets out, patting the Honda classic car as he relaxes. Waits for his son to arrive, as he pulls his cane out of the car. [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "Uh... who's up now?" > From outside, Dr. Thomas Light has arrived. [Radio: (D) Global] Gale Sorcerer transmits, "don't be mean to the kids, Elias" Number Man has left. > From outside, Number Man has arrived. [Radio: (D) Global] Fusion Phoenix transmits, "You just now figured this out?" Gemini Man has arrived. [OOC] Rickshaw Chimp says, "I dunno <.<" Storm Eagle has left. > From outside, Teleported. Gemini Man has left. > From outside, Gemini Man has arrived. Dirge has arrived. > From outside, Seismic Earthworm drags his train away, humming "In the End". [OOC] Rickshaw Chimp says, "I hope it's me..." Dirge has left. > From outside, Dirge has arrived. Magic Man has arrived. Storm Eagle has arrived. [OOC] Jared Kintane says, "That's why I'm waiting to be told, 'come out'." [OOC] Barrage Raptor waits too. [OOC] Ether Skunk says, "Well, I don't know if we're going to be told that or not, they haven't actually said anything yet." Storm Eagle has left. > From outside, Storm Eagle has arrived. [OOC] Rickshaw Chimp says, "... ... ..." Gizmo Glider has left. > From outside, Gizmo Glider has arrived. Arafina has left. > From outside, Arafina has arrived. [OOC] Quint shall go when he's announced. [OOC] Rickshaw Chimp says, "Huhhh." > From outside, Auto putters the AUtotrack to a halt near the pit. "Aww....I didn't even make the last lap....." > From outside, Spica has arrived. > From outside, [OOC] Michael Eildath says, "Urry, want an @Mail about available times for tomorrow?" > From outside, Astro Man arrives from the Great Plains. > From outside, Astro Man has arrived. $$$$$$ Battle and Chase $$$$$$ Message: 22/85 Posted Author Car race - heat 1 Sat Jun 15 Uranus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Standings with stars mean they move on to the finals. 1*: Michael Eildath 2*: Bridgit Cascio 3*: Magic Man 4*: Anthem 5*: Seismic Earthworm 6: Dr. Light 7: Auto Crashed: Blues, Clown Man, Gravity Beetle, Mitsurei, Rollcage Pillbug, Shyster, Snake Man, Top Man $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Astro Man has arrived. > From outside, [OOC] Dr. Thomas Light hugs Auto. I didn't exactly rock either. :) [OOC] Astro Man says, "Hmmmm." > From outside, [OOC] Uranus says, "And leave all the cars here." > From outside, Quint grows bored of his surroundings and marches his high and mighty self over to Residential District - Neo Tokyo. Quint grows bored of his surroundings and marches his high and mighty self over to Residential District - Neo Tokyo. Quint has left. > From outside, Teleported. > From outside, [OOC] Search Man says, "You both did good on the track, theres always next year" > From outside, Wacky Racer has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Wacky Racer . > From outside, Topsy Turvy has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Topsy Turvy . > From outside, Snake Speeder III has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Snake Speeder III . > From outside, Funky Chicken has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Funky Chicken . > From outside, [OOC] Auto shrugs... > From outside, Rocket Train has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Rocket Train . > From outside, Buzzboar has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Buzzboar . > From outside, Mi-Cycle has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Mi-Cycle . > From outside, Seismic Earthworm has disconnected. > From outside, Harley Hoverbike has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Harley Hoverbike . > From outside, Mystic Hotrod has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Mystic Hotrod . > From outside, Lightmobile has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Lightmobile . > From outside, Clownmobile II has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Clownmobile II . > From outside, Defiant Lite has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Defiant Lite . > From outside, Red Striker has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Red Striker . > From outside, Autotrack mk II has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Autotrack mk II . Dust Man has connected. > From outside, Car 54 has left. > From outside, Uranus takes Car 54 . > From outside, [OOC] Uranus says, "Okay, I need to make a phone call. Spica will be taking over for round 2." > From outside, Quint arrives from the Great Plains. > From outside, Quint has arrived. > From outside, Get on your knees, simpletons! Quint is here! > From outside, Michael Eildath enters the Central Canada. > From outside, Michael Eildath has left.