Log started: 5/15/02 6:13:49 PM $$$+++ Robot Master $$$+++ Message: 12/73 Posted Author Epsilon Weekly Report! Wed May 15 Star Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Hey hey dudes and dudettes! Star Man here, coming to you live from the heart of Wily's Grand Utopia, Savanna District! With preparations coming up for our oh-so-sure to happen dominance at Battle & Chase, its been a slow week, but we got some goodies being pumped out nonetheless! Are ya ready? Cuz here! We! GO!" "Cape Wily is going totally gang-busters, and we have cut down production mess-ups by, like, 50 percent in two weeks! How cool is that? I've got the readouts of all the schway details attached to this report, k? My Wily Youth are completely psyched up for B n' C, and I plan to send them there as, heh heh, vocal dissenters! I mean, I figure if they're only protesting, when the UN and RFers try to stop em, well, thats got to be some good PR, right? Heh heh. I most judiciously think so!" "As for the taking of Madagascar, well, I'm totally stumped and I don't mind telling ya! Dust Dude, any more ideas? I'm up for any cool ideas, you know! Maybe we can cut off their communications and make it look like someone else did it? Offer our help? Huh? Well, its an idea, anyways! Lemme know what you think, Dust, plus all you Elite Dudes! And who could forget Gravity Dude's most totally awesome WilyWorld startup! is full report to me is attached to this report as well. I'd transcrie it, or even describe it, but Gravity Dude is as wordy as an Iron Maiden song! That's all I got for now, dudes, so until next week, this is Star Man signing off!" $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "When I say that I have no political stance, I mean it... if you want to label me as a capitalist, then do so, even though I feel it is ultimately inaccurate." [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "There are few people who fit completely in one label." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Then by all means, enlighten us, capitalist stooge." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Were I more than a mercenary, doubtless I could regale you with political theory and whatnot. However, I am but a humble mercenary, a tradesman peddling my wares to those who need them." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "So you're basically a very pretty whore with a sword?" [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "What a fascinating way of putting it, Number Man." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "I pride myself on cutting through the ^&&$@#*." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Flattery will get you nowhere, ERWIN. I'm no more a whore than any other merchant." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Most merchants don't actively seek clients by parading around and showing themselves off in ultimately embarassing ways." [Radio: (D) Global] Flash Man transmits, "All merchants must demonstrate their wares to sell them." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "But there is a difference between demonstration and prostitution." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Hardly. I do not stand on a street corner and parade myself about. I back my claims up... all this arena fighting is mere window dressing... a hobby. If it helps my business, so be it. If not, it doesn't." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "How do you back your claims up by losing? Or empty challenges that will never be answered? I'm just curious here." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "I have lost but /once/ in the public stage, ERWIN. One loss to a string of victory that includes your dear sweet Enker." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Because Enker was holding back." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo breaks down into gales of laughter. "God... if he was holding back, I'd hate to see what he did when he truly lost. He was apoplectic with rage... perfectly livid. The polaroids of it are quite amusing." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he'll prove to you sooner or later that he's got it on. Hell, if Heat Man could beat the crap out of you, I'm pretty sure Enker will be -just- fine." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Ah, but he /didn't/ do that... my battle with Heat Man was but a delaying action to keep him from Eurasia's reactor. Heat Man /couldn't/ win. Serenade is of yet the only one to ever truly defeat me." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "More excuses, more excuses." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "All I offer is the truth, ERWIN. Nothing more." [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa transmits, "Hi Guys!" [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Sure. Truuuuuth. Anyone who claims to offer the truth is almost always lying." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "And anyone who offers such charming pearls of wisdom is obviously an idiot." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Who's the bigger idiot? The one speaking, or the one arguing with him?" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "The one not paraphrasing Star Wars, in my opinion." [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa says cheerfully, "I don't think Erwin's an idiot but I hardly ever get to talk with him so I can't be -sure-, I guess. But I wouldn't know if you're lying or not either, mister. *hum hum hum* [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Thank you so much, brat-o-matic." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo snickers. [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa Giggles, "Brat-o-matic? You're Welcome!" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "You know what makes you Robot Masters fun to talk to? You engage in more verbal masturbation than I do." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "It's only masturbation if you're doing it alone" [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa transmits, "Verbal what?" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "It's a human thing... you're better off /not/ knowing." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "I'll tell you when you're older." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Anyway, Hombre del Numero, if you're done failing to make me your verbal b****, I can go back to enjoying my latte and waiting for more business besides the one contract I already have." [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa transmits, "When I'm 1?" [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Oh, good. Have fun with the latte, you little pansy@#$. Get a scone while you're at it, and send my martini down to the pool." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "You know, you seem a lot more bitter out of the mainframe and on the street. You need to lighten up, dice-brain. Think of it this way, at least Wily didn't put you in a metool body or something." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "... Again." [Radio: (D) Global] Sewa transmits, "I don't think I've ever seen Erwin in person." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man sighs. "If that's really the best you can do, Dynamutt, I have no fear." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "I wasn't trying. Oh yeah, tell Fire Man I said hi. I tried to get those guys to prank call him, but /some/ busybody changed all the frequencies." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "You did what?!" [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Well, I'm here to @)#$ all over your day, schmuck." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "What guys?" [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "Shut up barbeque head. Go back to making Wily hamburgers while I deal with this one." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "Go to hell." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "You, first." [Radio: (D) Global] Clown Man transmits, "Actually, ERWIN, remember? Aqua is ordering him about. *audible shudder!* And I don't want to know what Fire has to do for HIM..." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo snickers. "Actually, Fire Man, I have a message to give to you." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Oh, I know -exactly- what he's going to have to do." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "Whatever." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Fire Man transmits, "I don't have to do anything. Aqua Man hasn't contacted me." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Fire Man transmits, "I don't even know where he is." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Just you wait." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "No, really... someone really wanted to talk to you, but you weren't around. I told him I'd give you the message, pro bono." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "Is it an insult? They usually are." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "He wouldn't tell me what it was. It's all sealed and everything. I'm -assuming authoritarian tone- supposed to give it to you in person. Real dickweed, too." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "...I see. It's probably a bomb or full of metal-eating nanites or something." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Number Man transmits, "Fire, if you meet Dynamo in person, I will make sure your stay in the mainframe is a living nightmare that will make you PRAY for Aqua Man's tender mercies." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Fire Man transmits, "Whatever." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "God, no. I scanned the mother before I even touched it." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "C'mon down to Rio and I'll give it to you... it might be money." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "I see. And I'm supposed to trust you?" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "No, but hey, I'm just doin' a favor for a guy who bought me a round of drink." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "Whatever." [Radio: (D) Global] Ether Skunk says in a whiney voice, "'You suck! I'm better than you!'" [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "..." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "What an amazingly accurate Fire Man impresession." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "Funny." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Aw, c'mon, who's it gonna hurt? Just come on down here... lovely day at the beach, too. I'll even throw in a drink." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "No." [Radio: (D) Global] Chill Penguin transmits, "W-w-um-ah, N-n-um-ah-ne-nevermind!" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo laughs. "Wow... a Alpha Squadron member afraid of a little piece of paper. I never thought I'd see the day." [Radio: (D) Global] Number Man transmits, "The boy hasn't been right since that last BBQ. I think he inhaled too much sand." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "I really don't care about the message. It's a waste of time to risk walking into a trap for it. Tell him to contact me over the radio." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Dr. Wily transmits, "Boys? If that loudmouthed twit wants Robot Masters... give him Robot Masters. Give him lots and lots of Robot Masters. Heh heh heh..." [Radio: (B) Masters-Secure] Number Man transmits, "Gentlemen. As this frequency hasn't been cracked yet, the good Doctor wants us to acquire someone's skull. Who's up for it?" [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "A trap? Here, tell you what, I'll go to a different city, if you think it's a trap. How's Monrovia tickle your funnybone? It's your freakin' territory." [Radio: (D) Global] Dr. Richard Von Eisenhower transmits, "OOC: Testing.." [Radio: (D) Global] Dr. Richard Von Eisenhower transmits, "OOC: Good, it works." [Radio: (D) Global] Dr. Richard Von Eisenhower transmits, "I am in need of assistance. If anyone is avound, I vill need gweat assistance upon explorwing El Paso..." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "No, you don't get it. I don't care about the message. Throw it away or something, I don't need people I don't know harassing me." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Coward." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "There's a difference between fear and apathy." [Radio: (D) Global] Dust Man transmits, "Mmmmm... big words." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo transmits, "Yeah, and you're a big chickenhearted pussy. You said so yourself 'Duh, it might be a trap, duuuh'." [Radio: (D) Global] Fire Man transmits, "I repeat. Whatever. *click*" News Reporter plays a message: The image is set in Houston Texas, with a pick up truck and alot of men loading up together. They are setting themselves in the area. The camera focuses on an old man. "Greetings, I'm Dr. Richard Von Eisenhower. I am in need of assistance. I am explorwing the town of El Paso, which was destroyed a few months back. Now that I hear that it is a ghost town, I am curious upon its secrets... However, I feel unsafe without anyone around to fend off whatever killed the humans inside. I will be near the dreaded town..." *Click* [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Ballade transmits, "Fire Man, you are needed for an important task. Acknowledge." [Radio: (D) Global] Dynamo laughs powerfully. [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Aqua Man transmits, "Fire Man..." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Ballade transmits, "If one of you would kindly locate Fire Man and indicate to him that I wish to speak to him, that would be appreciate it." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Ballade transmits, "OOC: appreciated." [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Dr. Wily transmits, "Fire Man... you will obey the commands of my appointed Elites, mmyes? Or do I have to get... unpleasant, hmmm?" $$$+++++ IC News $$$++++++ Message: 9/41 Posted Author Tidal Dam Opening Wed May 15 News Report ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -+ Posters and News Announcements all over Africa +- Loyal Citizens of Wily controlled Africa! A chance to see your Lord and Master in person is coming soon! The Great Project of the North, the Straight of Gibralter Tidal Dam, is completely, and the Great Dr. Albert Wily will be presiding over the opening! Foreign and Domestic Press are invited (Contact the Office of External Affairs for Details)! OOC: This event will be starting at 7PM EST Thursday Evening. Please Contact Wily if you wish to do anything more than simply attend. But if you want to attend... please come! $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ $$$+++ Robot Master $$$+++ Message: 12/74 Posted Author OOC: Dam Unveiling Wed May 15 Dr. Wily ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Okay - Tomorrow: That'd be Thursday, May Something (my date sense is messy), I, Doctor Albert Wily, will be presiding over the official public 'opening' of the Tidal Dam. We'll be starting around 7:00 PM, EST. So please try and be available. Thanks. ___ __ | |Dr. / / | |/ \/ / |__/\ / \/ $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ $$$+++++ IC News $$$++++++ Message: 9/42 Posted Author GNN Report: Repliforce Raid Wed May 15 News Report ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dateline: New Orleans, Lousiana Good evening. Tonight, in a daring Raid by two Repliforce Officers, a large shipment of illegal weaponry has been intercepted and placed into the hands of the locale law enforcement. The two heroes of the evening are one, Lieutenant Crescent Grizzly, and two, Lieutenant Burn Dinorex. The New Orleans Wharf District was the site of this notable event. The infamous Wharf Weasel Smuggling Ring attempted to sell off this large shipment of illegal weapons to as yet unknown buyer, when Crescent Grizzly and Burn Dinorex smashed into the warehouse in which they were holding the exchange. The majority of the Smuggling Ring was present, and with combined efforts of the two Repliforce Officers, the entire gang of Reploids was disabled or deactivated. The Buyers of the Illegal Weaponry were also caught in the exchange, and both were incapacitated by Burn Dinorex. Later, it was revealed that these two human-seeming individuals were really Drone-like robots, resembling Asian businessmen. Both were heavily damaged by Lieutenant Burn Dinorex during the struggle. The remains were remote-detonated shortly after they were taken into custody. No one was injured in the minor explosions. No report as yet as to who exactly was purchasing the weapons, but Lieutenant Crescent Grizzly speculated to the Local Police that they were likely affiliated with the infamous Yakuza. Two Reploids of the smuggling ring were destroyed by Crescent Grizzly, while the three surviving criminals were arrested by the New Orleans Police Force. Among those captured were the two leaders of the Smuggling Ring, Wharf Weasel and Mattock Oliphant, the later of which requiring extensive repairs due to the damage dealt to him by Crescent Grizzly. The weaponry is estimated to be valued at nearly a quarter of a million Zenny, though the real value, keeping such weapons off of the streets of New Orleans, is the real boon. A large suitcase of Zenny was also confiscated by the local police, the totally roughly one-hundred twenty-five thousand Zenny. It is suspected that the Smugglers were selling the weaponry short due to the recent bounties placed on their heads by the local merchant guilds. Tonight the citizens of New Orleans can sleep a little better knowing that they are being watched over by such diligent members of the Repliforce. $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ $$$+++++ IC News $$$++++++ Message: 9/43 Posted Author Commercial! Thu May 16 News Report ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Ahhh! That's Splurge, baby..." "CUT!" A -much- larger Reploid looms over Zero, holding up a larger can. "Erm. New Splurge Iced Tea tastes so great, it sells itself..." Chibi-Zero peers. "Soooooo?" The director leans in, a big grin on his face. "So you puppets are fired." "WHAT?!" exclaims the Chibi-Zero, "You can't fire me! Nobody does this to Zero!" He hops off the set, stomping on various, normal-sized individuals' feet as he stomps off. The scene switches to the outside area around the primary building of the company that produces Splurge. A reporter is standing among the chaos that is occuring; eggs, dirt, small rocks being thrown, by a lot of.. chibi people. Chibi-Zero is present, and other people can be identified - Chibi-Rock, Chibi-Sigma, and Chibi-Colonel among them. The reporter finally speaks. "The puppet community is up in arms today, over new Splurge Iced Tea..." Scene switches to show a so-called 'puppet', his faced blotted out, talking to another reporter. "Off the record? We should be fired..." he slurps some Splurge from a can, through a straw, "..this stuff sells itself." $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ $$$+++ Robot Master $$$+++ Message: 12/75 Posted Author Dynamic, $^@#. Wed May 15 Number Man ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Text* From: ERWIN@robotmasters.org To:All-You-Idiots@robotmasters.org RE:Dynamo Per the Doc's orders, Search, Sword, and I went to deal with that prettyboy loudmouth Dynamo. Unfortunately, loudmouth challenged Sword to a "Duel of Honor." Guess who accepted? Guess who got his aft dropped to the ground and sliced to snot? Sword Man? Yes. However, he got Dynamo to hold still long enough for Search and I to pound the snot out of him, though each of us were damaged by the merc as well. In the end, Sword was e-ringed as a result of the cumulative battle damage, but thanks to Search's final shot at Dynamo, we think he was severely damaged, if not destroyed, before his blink field finished deploying. Sorry we couldn't bring you his skull, Doc. But we think you'll like this result, too. I'm going for a nice hot oil bath, and repairs. Then I'm gonna crack open an e-tank and drink it like Dynamo's blood. -ERWIN. ################################### $$$$$$++++++++++++++++++++ [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Search Man transmits, "Alright we got an off for any master that isn't part of the team combat portion of B&C... We're looking for two Robot Masters to join us, any takers?" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Quick Man transmits, "Sorry, Overdrive gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. +/" [Radio: (A) Masters-Main] Tomahawk Man transmits, " Hmm.. I suggest we pick two captains and then pick team members, it's better that way."